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7 Successful People Dish on Their Worst Job Interviews (and What they Learned) 7 Successful People Dish on Their Worst Job Interviews (and What They Learned)
(about 7 hours later)
Pretty much everybody who’s ever held down a job has at least one bad interview story. For me, it’s showing up soaking wet in the middle of a downpour for an interview at a major publishing company.Pretty much everybody who’s ever held down a job has at least one bad interview story. For me, it’s showing up soaking wet in the middle of a downpour for an interview at a major publishing company.
“This weather is terrible, isn’t it?” my interviewer asked as I stashed my umbrella and attempted to dry my face with my sleeve. “It’s the kind of day you really should call in sick and stay in bed!” I responded enthusiastically.“This weather is terrible, isn’t it?” my interviewer asked as I stashed my umbrella and attempted to dry my face with my sleeve. “It’s the kind of day you really should call in sick and stay in bed!” I responded enthusiastically.
I didn’t get the job. The truth is, I don’t even remember what the job was. But every time I walk into another interview, my heart starts beating faster, I feel slightly nauseated and I wonder how I might mess up again.I didn’t get the job. The truth is, I don’t even remember what the job was. But every time I walk into another interview, my heart starts beating faster, I feel slightly nauseated and I wonder how I might mess up again.
Those nerves are as common as having a bad interview story. Dr. David Austern, a clinical instructor with the Department of Psychiatry at N.Y.U. Langone Health, noted that 92 percent of adults have job interview anxiety, based on a 2013 survey conducted by Harris Interactive on behalf of Everest College. We worry that we won’t be able to express ourselves clearly, or that we won’t look right. What if people think we’re awkward or have a bad handshake? What if we’re evaluated poorly compared to others? With all this comes the behavioral manifestations — shaky hands, getting queasy, sweating — that ratchet the anxiety up even further.Those nerves are as common as having a bad interview story. Dr. David Austern, a clinical instructor with the Department of Psychiatry at N.Y.U. Langone Health, noted that 92 percent of adults have job interview anxiety, based on a 2013 survey conducted by Harris Interactive on behalf of Everest College. We worry that we won’t be able to express ourselves clearly, or that we won’t look right. What if people think we’re awkward or have a bad handshake? What if we’re evaluated poorly compared to others? With all this comes the behavioral manifestations — shaky hands, getting queasy, sweating — that ratchet the anxiety up even further.
Job interviews speak to your identity, said Dr. Irina Wen, a clinical assistant professor in the Department of Psychiatry, also of N.Y.U. Langone Health.Job interviews speak to your identity, said Dr. Irina Wen, a clinical assistant professor in the Department of Psychiatry, also of N.Y.U. Langone Health.
“Whether you succeed or not becomes a defining aspect of yourself,” she said. Regardless of how an interview goes, she added, it’s just one aspect of yourself.“Whether you succeed or not becomes a defining aspect of yourself,” she said. Regardless of how an interview goes, she added, it’s just one aspect of yourself.
It might even lead you to greater things, as it did with these successful people who kindly shared their most horrifying interview stories — and what they’ve learned from them.It might even lead you to greater things, as it did with these successful people who kindly shared their most horrifying interview stories — and what they’ve learned from them.
“Even if we don’t consider a bad interview a capital-T trauma, it has this emotional leadenness to it,” said Dr. Austern, who reminded me that, on the up side, “pretty much everything short of death we can survive.”“Even if we don’t consider a bad interview a capital-T trauma, it has this emotional leadenness to it,” said Dr. Austern, who reminded me that, on the up side, “pretty much everything short of death we can survive.”
In the case of Kashif Naqshbandi, the gaffe was the nightclub stamp from the evening before, which he saw when he reached out to greet his interviewer. “I could tell they noticed the crude smudge on the back of my hand, but they didn’t address it, which made matters even worse,” he said. “I felt I had to compensate for my indiscretion and probably came across as too serious or strait-laced.”In the case of Kashif Naqshbandi, the gaffe was the nightclub stamp from the evening before, which he saw when he reached out to greet his interviewer. “I could tell they noticed the crude smudge on the back of my hand, but they didn’t address it, which made matters even worse,” he said. “I felt I had to compensate for my indiscretion and probably came across as too serious or strait-laced.”
In retrospect, he notes, he should have just addressed it.In retrospect, he notes, he should have just addressed it.
“It shows honesty and willingness to discuss difficult or sensitive subjects. You also shouldn’t be embarrassed about who you are, and definitely shouldn’t let it impact you professionally.” Now Mr. Naqshbandi is Chief Marketing Officer at Frank Recruitment Group, a global niche technology recruitment agency, and he washes all nightclub stamps from his hands when he gets home.“It shows honesty and willingness to discuss difficult or sensitive subjects. You also shouldn’t be embarrassed about who you are, and definitely shouldn’t let it impact you professionally.” Now Mr. Naqshbandi is Chief Marketing Officer at Frank Recruitment Group, a global niche technology recruitment agency, and he washes all nightclub stamps from his hands when he gets home.
Before founding wiseHer, a technology platform providing resources to help women thrive in their careers, Kathryn Rose had her share of interviews. One of them, in 2016, was with a sales training company. Her meeting with the principal of the firm was going well right up until the end, when he said, “if you’re looking for a job with mother’s hours, this isn’t it.”Before founding wiseHer, a technology platform providing resources to help women thrive in their careers, Kathryn Rose had her share of interviews. One of them, in 2016, was with a sales training company. Her meeting with the principal of the firm was going well right up until the end, when he said, “if you’re looking for a job with mother’s hours, this isn’t it.”
Right away, “I told him it wasn’t going to be a good fit,” she said. “Yes I am a mom. I don’t hide it, and that’s one of the things I bring to the table. I can multitask.” The fuel from that moment led her to create her own company. “I was like, forget it, I’m going to dive in and build a tech platform,” she said.Right away, “I told him it wasn’t going to be a good fit,” she said. “Yes I am a mom. I don’t hide it, and that’s one of the things I bring to the table. I can multitask.” The fuel from that moment led her to create her own company. “I was like, forget it, I’m going to dive in and build a tech platform,” she said.
As a teen, journalist Annemarie Dooling interned with the Discovery Channel on their house and home programs. From that experience, she applied as the intern for a local interior designer. “Her office was at her house. She interviewed me barefoot, while eating a sandwich among stacks and stacks of papers sitting on her floor,” Ms. Dooling said. “She burrowed through the stacks to find my crumpled-up resume, asked me one question about design, then looked at me, sitting on a box across the living room, and said, ‘I can’t hire you with all of those tattoos. You should think about what you’ve done to your body and how unprofessional it is.’”As a teen, journalist Annemarie Dooling interned with the Discovery Channel on their house and home programs. From that experience, she applied as the intern for a local interior designer. “Her office was at her house. She interviewed me barefoot, while eating a sandwich among stacks and stacks of papers sitting on her floor,” Ms. Dooling said. “She burrowed through the stacks to find my crumpled-up resume, asked me one question about design, then looked at me, sitting on a box across the living room, and said, ‘I can’t hire you with all of those tattoos. You should think about what you’ve done to your body and how unprofessional it is.’”
Ms. Dooling walked out, knowing she didn’t want to work with someone like that. In dating, this is often called “dodging a bullet.”Ms. Dooling walked out, knowing she didn’t want to work with someone like that. In dating, this is often called “dodging a bullet.”
And as with dating, no matter what you might think, interviewing isn’t about avoiding rejection. It’s not (entirely) even about impressing the person behind the desk, who, by the way, is a human just like you, and may be just as nervous as you are. The interview is your chance to find out if this is the right fit for you. So trust yourself — if it goes badly, that might be the best thing that’s ever happened.And as with dating, no matter what you might think, interviewing isn’t about avoiding rejection. It’s not (entirely) even about impressing the person behind the desk, who, by the way, is a human just like you, and may be just as nervous as you are. The interview is your chance to find out if this is the right fit for you. So trust yourself — if it goes badly, that might be the best thing that’s ever happened.
At 25, Ms. Rose had an interview with a cable TV company in Rhode Island. She drove over from her home in Connecticut, locked her car and went in for the meeting.At 25, Ms. Rose had an interview with a cable TV company in Rhode Island. She drove over from her home in Connecticut, locked her car and went in for the meeting.
“I had a bit less experience than some of the other candidates, but we had a nice chat,” she said. But when she went outside, she found she’d left her keys in the ignition. “I’m thinking, I’ve spent the last hour convincing this guy I can learn under pressure, and now I’m going to look like a flake,” she said. “I can’t walk home. I had to walk back in. This was pre-GPS, and when he saw me standing there, he asked if I needed directions.” She confessed that she needed Triple A.“I had a bit less experience than some of the other candidates, but we had a nice chat,” she said. But when she went outside, she found she’d left her keys in the ignition. “I’m thinking, I’ve spent the last hour convincing this guy I can learn under pressure, and now I’m going to look like a flake,” she said. “I can’t walk home. I had to walk back in. This was pre-GPS, and when he saw me standing there, he asked if I needed directions.” She confessed that she needed Triple A.
Later, her interviewer offered her the job based on how she’d handled herself under pressure: calmly, with humor. “That experience showed me you can show up and be yourself and make mistakes and it can still work out,” she said.Later, her interviewer offered her the job based on how she’d handled herself under pressure: calmly, with humor. “That experience showed me you can show up and be yourself and make mistakes and it can still work out,” she said.
Of course, her new employer never let her live down the story of how she’d locked her keys in the car.Of course, her new employer never let her live down the story of how she’d locked her keys in the car.
Marie Myung-OK Lee is a novelist, essayist and teaches fiction as a Writer in Residence at Columbia. But in the 1980s, she just wanted to get into Brown.Marie Myung-OK Lee is a novelist, essayist and teaches fiction as a Writer in Residence at Columbia. But in the 1980s, she just wanted to get into Brown.
“I knew it was the right place for me,” she said. But at the all-important interview, she got into a “knockdown drag out argument. I knew I was right and didn’t want to back down and ended up arguing to the end even though I knew I’d kiboshed my chances.”“I knew it was the right place for me,” she said. But at the all-important interview, she got into a “knockdown drag out argument. I knew I was right and didn’t want to back down and ended up arguing to the end even though I knew I’d kiboshed my chances.”
The details of the argument are lost to time. “I had this grand plan of becoming a novelist, and he might have asked, ‘Why do you think you can succeed in that?’” she said. “I remember getting into this zone. Normally I’m really self-conscious, but I knew I was correct and wanted to stick with it. I felt miserable after. I felt like I’d ruined it.”The details of the argument are lost to time. “I had this grand plan of becoming a novelist, and he might have asked, ‘Why do you think you can succeed in that?’” she said. “I remember getting into this zone. Normally I’m really self-conscious, but I knew I was correct and wanted to stick with it. I felt miserable after. I felt like I’d ruined it.”
Later, a thin letter arrived in the mail, and she almost threw it away. It was her acceptance.Later, a thin letter arrived in the mail, and she almost threw it away. It was her acceptance.
“After I went there, my husband and I ended up teaching at Brown for 15 years, and I can see they want people who are very single-minded,” she said. It’s a tactic she now uses in the writing of her essays and opinion pieces. “That’s directly come from that experience!”“After I went there, my husband and I ended up teaching at Brown for 15 years, and I can see they want people who are very single-minded,” she said. It’s a tactic she now uses in the writing of her essays and opinion pieces. “That’s directly come from that experience!”
You’re on the way to an interview and suddenly you realize you’ve vastly underestimated the time it takes to get there. That’s what happened to Jennifer Owens, the senior vice president of digital strategy for HealthyWomen.org, when she was looking for a job as a new mom.You’re on the way to an interview and suddenly you realize you’ve vastly underestimated the time it takes to get there. That’s what happened to Jennifer Owens, the senior vice president of digital strategy for HealthyWomen.org, when she was looking for a job as a new mom.
“I had an interview in Dumbo and had no idea that the building was 30 minutes from the subway station! Yep, I was a half-hour late or more and completely frazzled by the time I got there.” When she finally arrived, the interview took place out in the middle of an open-plan office, “So I had the fun of having everyone listen to me apologize.”“I had an interview in Dumbo and had no idea that the building was 30 minutes from the subway station! Yep, I was a half-hour late or more and completely frazzled by the time I got there.” When she finally arrived, the interview took place out in the middle of an open-plan office, “So I had the fun of having everyone listen to me apologize.”
She didn’t get the job, but the interviewer gave her a life-changing tip. “She recommended the Sit ‘n’ Stroll, a car seat that converts to a stroller that changed my life!”She didn’t get the job, but the interviewer gave her a life-changing tip. “She recommended the Sit ‘n’ Stroll, a car seat that converts to a stroller that changed my life!”
Even when things go bad, keep an eye out for the positives. “Any situation is more complex than one feature,” said Dr. Wen.Even when things go bad, keep an eye out for the positives. “Any situation is more complex than one feature,” said Dr. Wen.
You might commit a fashion fur-pas, like Jen Bekman, founder and CEO of 20x200. She was interviewing for a job at a start-up run by David Steward, the former COO of Martha Stewart Omnimedia, “a really impressive and somewhat intimidating guy all around.”You might commit a fashion fur-pas, like Jen Bekman, founder and CEO of 20x200. She was interviewing for a job at a start-up run by David Steward, the former COO of Martha Stewart Omnimedia, “a really impressive and somewhat intimidating guy all around.”
Ms. Bekman had been staying with a friend who had a cat and lived in a “very dark” first floor apartment. “It wasn’t until I sat down across from him for the actual interview that I realized that my black suit was absolutely covered in cat hair. I mean, like … covered. I think it’s possible that he might’ve even handed me a lint brush during the interview! Totally mortifying.”Ms. Bekman had been staying with a friend who had a cat and lived in a “very dark” first floor apartment. “It wasn’t until I sat down across from him for the actual interview that I realized that my black suit was absolutely covered in cat hair. I mean, like … covered. I think it’s possible that he might’ve even handed me a lint brush during the interview! Totally mortifying.”
He hired her anyway. “He didn’t just accept me the way I was, he really liked me the way I was. We ended up having an amazing working relationship, so much so that I later hired him to be 20x200’s COO. We remain good friends to this day and often laugh about my cat hair suit.”He hired her anyway. “He didn’t just accept me the way I was, he really liked me the way I was. We ended up having an amazing working relationship, so much so that I later hired him to be 20x200’s COO. We remain good friends to this day and often laugh about my cat hair suit.”
For Ryan Su, lead designer at TeliApp, an AI software development firm, his worst interview moment was also his … nicest. Instead of the hard interrogation he expected, he got questions like, “What kind of movies I watched, what the most recent series I’m binge watching was, and what was the most recent book I had read. And it totally threw me off my game. Although I consider myself a confident person, throughout the whole interview I was fumbling my words, sounding incoherent and sweating much more than I wish I had. I can truly not recall a recent time in my life before that when I left a place feeling so unnerved.”For Ryan Su, lead designer at TeliApp, an AI software development firm, his worst interview moment was also his … nicest. Instead of the hard interrogation he expected, he got questions like, “What kind of movies I watched, what the most recent series I’m binge watching was, and what was the most recent book I had read. And it totally threw me off my game. Although I consider myself a confident person, throughout the whole interview I was fumbling my words, sounding incoherent and sweating much more than I wish I had. I can truly not recall a recent time in my life before that when I left a place feeling so unnerved.”
There are a million embarrassing things that could happen in an interview, Dr. Wen admits. The best thing to do is acknowledge it’s happening and refocus. And later, once you go home, “if they don’t call you back, the best thing you can do is move on.”There are a million embarrassing things that could happen in an interview, Dr. Wen admits. The best thing to do is acknowledge it’s happening and refocus. And later, once you go home, “if they don’t call you back, the best thing you can do is move on.”
Mr. Su resigned himself to failure and sent an email thanking his interviewers for their time. Two days later, he got his offer.Mr. Su resigned himself to failure and sent an email thanking his interviewers for their time. Two days later, he got his offer.