Italians say bye, bye, baby

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Italy has one of the lowest birth-rates in Europe, as Matthew Gwyther discovered when he moved to Monte san Martino in Eastern Italy.

Matthew Gwyther and his wife found their dream home seven years agoSeptember 11, 2001 was an inauspicious day on which to discover your dream home.

My wife Victoria and I were on a short trip to the Marche region of Italy. It was my wife's first visit and her property-detecting sonar was pinging louder than a U-boat under depth-charge attack

An estate agent was showing us a variety of deserted, tumble-down places minus roofs, all of which suited our modest budget, when on a ridge near the tiny, medieval hilltop village of Monte san Martino, we saw "Casa Lola", as we now call it.

There is no arguing that the view is quite sublime. In front rolling hills of oak with a lake in the valley below, to the right the towering Sibillini mountains.

Most Italians wanted to live in something far more modern, and it was not hard to see why It is a classic Italian country farmhouse in yellow stone where animals had occupied the ground floor stalls. The previous owner, an elderly woman called Elisa, had died a number of years before.

She only had one child, a bachelor son, who had pre-deceased her. And there were no grandchildren.

This had not been the big Italian family, brimful of children, that existed in the old days but has grown rare in the 21st Century.

Elisa's bottle of Cynar liqueur and her packet of Fisherman's Friends were still in the tiny kitchen and her medical bills dating back to the 1930s were in the dresser.

There were not many others interested in the house. Most Italians wanted to live in something far more modern, and it was not hard to see why.

The power line had been blown down. The lavatory and bath emptied through the bathroom wall via a pipe that stopped outside in mid-air.

The roof on the cow shed next door where old Lola, the Fresian, had chewed her cud, had collapsed. Not an easy place to bring up a family.

Victoria was smitten. I was terrified, seeing nothing but telephone number restoration bills.

Tears of Joy

Anyway, now seven years later, the house is restored and to our great joy we have had a baby.

Villagers in Monte san Martino are delighted by Ludo's arrivalThis was a delight to us - not least because we have a combined age of 89 years - but it has left our Italian neighbours close to delirium.

Our son was born in the UK but word quickly got round of Ludo's safe arrival and someone attached a large blue bow on our front door.

Pictures were e-mailed over and passed around the village, and his first appearance drew admirers as the presents piled up.

When we wheeled him into our local restaurant, Angelica the chef burst into tears when she first took him into her flour-covered arms, and her husband refused to let us pay for our meal.

To everyone's delight he enjoys pasta and is "molto robusto," as our farmer neighbour, Umberto, notes with deep approval.

Single lifestyles

Ludo's baptism took place in the local church under the frames of two 15th Century Crivelli paintings and the baby contributed with baboon noises throughout the service.

You do not see that many baptisms under the Crivellis these days, though. Italy, for a variety of complex socio-economic factors, has one of the lowest birth-rates in Europe.

One statistic provides a clue: 40% of Italian men between the ages of 30 and 34 still live with their parents.

Our friend - let us call her Ilaria - who is about 40, arrived at the christening in her smart black Range Rover.

She is single, with a hugely successful business and resides in a turreted house filled with Prada bags and Milanese furniture.

But the only patter of tiny feet on her terracotta floors are those of the stray dogs she takes in. She appears resigned to childlessness, and it is hard to see how becoming a mum would fit in with her lifestyle.

Late marriages

Three years ago the Italian premier, Silvio Berlusconi, in an effort to encourage families, offered 1,000 Euros (£833) to parents who produced a child.

A cheque arrived for each infant complete with a letter signed "Big Kisses from Silvio."

The publicity gimmick backfired when it was demanded that 3,000 immigrant families give the money back as they were deemed ineligible.

Neither has it increased native Italians' ardour to get reproducing.

The day before the baptism we had attended the wedding of some friends.

It is common for Italians to marry late these days and both the bride and the groom were in their mid-40s.

The possibly of any sort of assisted conception in Italy is highly restricted, not least because the Vatican disapproves so vehemently At the wedding feast on our table were three childless couples all in the early stages of middle age.

After a few glasses of the local Rosso Piceno, as he entertained my baby son, one of the husbands admitted to me that he and his wife had been trying to have a child for ages, but to no avail. They had probably left it too late.

The possibly of any sort of assisted conception in Italy is highly restricted, not least because the Vatican disapproves so vehemently. So they were looking into adoption.

I counted my blessings, toasted the bride and groom and took the baby off to change the sixth nappy of the day.

From Our Own Correspondent was broadcast on Thursday, 16 October, 2008 at 1100 BST on BBC Radio 4. Please check the <a class="inlineText" href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/from_our_own_correspondent/3187926.stm">programme schedules </a>for World Service transmission times.