Stephen Colbert Makes Fun of ‘Intense’ House Hearing With Peter Strzok

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/13/arts/television/stephen-colbert-house-hearing-peter-strzok.html

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Stephen Colbert took House Republicans to task for the contentious, often dysfunctional hearing that they convened on Thursday. Peter Strzok, an F.B.I. agent who helped open the Russia investigation, defended himself against Republicans who seemed devoted to questioning his credibility and impugning his judgment. Their approach — which included direct references to Strzok’s feelings about his extramarital affair — often drew cries of protest from Democrats, with the hearing devolving into a shouting match.

Colbert found it oddly satisfying to see members of Congress getting that irritated with each other.

“This is the first time I’ve seen Congress as frustrated with Congress as we are!” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“That was intense. It was like ‘A Few Good Men,’ but with even fewer good men.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

In Brussels on Thursday, President Trump said he had persuaded European allies to increase their spending on NATO. (The leaders of Italy and France immediately rejected that claim.) Trump said: “They’re going to up it at levels that they’ve never thought of before. We are doing numbers that they’ve never done before or ever seen before.”

Colbert got stuck on the idea of numbers that have never been seen before.

“Yes, numbers nobody’s ever seen! Uh, eleventy-five, threven, flixty tillion. Who can get to flixty? They said they’ll stop at flirpy tillion.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“While in the U.K., President Trump was asked if he was worried about the protests there. And he said — this is a quote — ‘I think they agree with me on immigration.’ Yeah, Trump has a point: Many people in England want him immediately deported.” — CONAN O’BRIEN

“I lost 200,000 followers today — including my dad. It turned out he was a Russian bot the whole time.” — JIMMY KIMMEL, on the effects of Twitter’s bot-cleanup operation on Thursday

Conan O’Brien’s personal assistant has an old car with 160,000 miles on it and a habit of shaking spontaneously when slowing for a stop sign. So O’Brien decided to replace it — with an even worse jalopy.

Jimmy Kimmel has fully inherited Jay Leno’s mantle as TV’s leading embarrasser of American pedestrians. The latest: people who can’t name a single country on a world map.

HBO’s 17-year-long streak as the most Emmy-nominated network is over. The 2018 selections were announced on Thursday, and Netflix led the pack with 112 nods.