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| It’s not just the Tories who are sullied by the tawdry jostling to succeed May | It’s not just the Tories who are sullied by the tawdry jostling to succeed May |
| (6 months later) | |
| The coincidence is uncanny: as Theresa May sits down to dinner tonight in Brussels, England battle Belgium on the football pitch. But the leaders facing burgeoning EU crises will talk little about Brexit, an afterthought over the petits fours. Beyond admonishing her for offering no plan, what can they do but shrug? | The coincidence is uncanny: as Theresa May sits down to dinner tonight in Brussels, England battle Belgium on the football pitch. But the leaders facing burgeoning EU crises will talk little about Brexit, an afterthought over the petits fours. Beyond admonishing her for offering no plan, what can they do but shrug? |
| May sticks fingers in ears as blue-on-blue battles rage on | John Crace | |
| She arrives yet again unable to explain the inexplicable: how can Britain have no plausible proposal after two long years? She will promise that miraculously, in 10 days’ time, after her Chequers cabinet away-day, she will have a final plan, agreed and united: why would they believe that? | She arrives yet again unable to explain the inexplicable: how can Britain have no plausible proposal after two long years? She will promise that miraculously, in 10 days’ time, after her Chequers cabinet away-day, she will have a final plan, agreed and united: why would they believe that? |
| Rolling their eyes, they will ask why that cabinet meeting was not fixed before today’s summit, long described as “crucial”? After two wasted years, the EU warns that there are in effect only six working weeks left for negotiation before the October summit and signing of a final agreement. The cabinet ate my homework, she may plead, as she sits there helplessly with no authority to propose anything. Schadenfreude at Angela Merkel’s own weakness will be her only small sour solace – but, unlike the World Cup, a weaker Germany is no help. | Rolling their eyes, they will ask why that cabinet meeting was not fixed before today’s summit, long described as “crucial”? After two wasted years, the EU warns that there are in effect only six working weeks left for negotiation before the October summit and signing of a final agreement. The cabinet ate my homework, she may plead, as she sits there helplessly with no authority to propose anything. Schadenfreude at Angela Merkel’s own weakness will be her only small sour solace – but, unlike the World Cup, a weaker Germany is no help. |
| All cabinets are dysfunctional in their own way. Cameron was forced into his fateful referendum to purge the Eurosceptic disease. The Blair/Brown schism was a pointlessly destructive cabinet feud, signifying nothing. Major was brought down by the same kind of “bastards” that wrought the current woe. Thatcher was eventually knifed by her “vegetables”. Harold Wilson, his cabinet split on the EU referendum, dangled over the Bennite v Jenkinsite ravine. Yet governments got things done despite internal ructions. | All cabinets are dysfunctional in their own way. Cameron was forced into his fateful referendum to purge the Eurosceptic disease. The Blair/Brown schism was a pointlessly destructive cabinet feud, signifying nothing. Major was brought down by the same kind of “bastards” that wrought the current woe. Thatcher was eventually knifed by her “vegetables”. Harold Wilson, his cabinet split on the EU referendum, dangled over the Bennite v Jenkinsite ravine. Yet governments got things done despite internal ructions. |
| This time is different. With no Brexit agreement, everything else in May’s government is paralysed. Maybe she never meant those words anyway, but nothing has progressed her opening decree about “burning injustices” and the “just about managing”. | This time is different. With no Brexit agreement, everything else in May’s government is paralysed. Maybe she never meant those words anyway, but nothing has progressed her opening decree about “burning injustices” and the “just about managing”. |
| The great Euro-schism gifted the keys to No 10 to this most inept leader: her impossible task was always to heal it, and now Chequers is billed as that last chance. But the disgraceful behaviour of her cabinet suggests a party too wildly out of control, too intoxicated with rebellion and personal vanities to whip back into coherent government. | The great Euro-schism gifted the keys to No 10 to this most inept leader: her impossible task was always to heal it, and now Chequers is billed as that last chance. But the disgraceful behaviour of her cabinet suggests a party too wildly out of control, too intoxicated with rebellion and personal vanities to whip back into coherent government. |
| Battle lines along the Euro-split were inevitable. But this is not two orderly battalions facing off for the final conflict, but a rabble of deplorables elbowing each other for the top job. For non-Tories, the spectacle should be an uproarious delight, a comedy of absurdities, as each “look at me!” contender looks more preposterous than the last. But one of them might win – and these are dangerous times. | Battle lines along the Euro-split were inevitable. But this is not two orderly battalions facing off for the final conflict, but a rabble of deplorables elbowing each other for the top job. For non-Tories, the spectacle should be an uproarious delight, a comedy of absurdities, as each “look at me!” contender looks more preposterous than the last. But one of them might win – and these are dangerous times. |
| Each reminds us of the abiding nastiness of their party, because to win, they need the votes of their tiny band of aged illiberal, xenophobic Tory party members: that takes vigorous vice-signalling. Not only are big beasts Michael Gove and Boris Johnson at it, but minnows are having a go. Three are co-authors of that seminal nasty book, Britannia Unchained, from the rightwing Free Enterprise Group, calling for radical deregulation of everything, famously pronouncing that British workers as “the worst idlers in the world”. One author, Dominic Raab, claimed “excessive protections” in employment law mean “people are coasting” when employers should “let them go”. Keen to signal his absurd leadership ambitions, as housing minister he says migrants have caused house-price rises of 20% over the past 25 years. He didn’t say that that’s a pin prick in the well over 300% total rise in prices. But his anti-migrant marker drew praise from the Sun, the Mail and the Telegraph. | Each reminds us of the abiding nastiness of their party, because to win, they need the votes of their tiny band of aged illiberal, xenophobic Tory party members: that takes vigorous vice-signalling. Not only are big beasts Michael Gove and Boris Johnson at it, but minnows are having a go. Three are co-authors of that seminal nasty book, Britannia Unchained, from the rightwing Free Enterprise Group, calling for radical deregulation of everything, famously pronouncing that British workers as “the worst idlers in the world”. One author, Dominic Raab, claimed “excessive protections” in employment law mean “people are coasting” when employers should “let them go”. Keen to signal his absurd leadership ambitions, as housing minister he says migrants have caused house-price rises of 20% over the past 25 years. He didn’t say that that’s a pin prick in the well over 300% total rise in prices. But his anti-migrant marker drew praise from the Sun, the Mail and the Telegraph. |
| The Brexit abyss is fast approaching. Time to apply the brakes | Jonathan Lis | |
| Liz Truss returned to her Britannia Unchained theme in a clumsy leadership bid this week, calling for rapid deregulation of everything, and attacking Gove for his tiny environmental curbs on straws and wood-burning stoves. Remember, she’s the one who wanted child-minders so deregulated they should each care for six toddlers single-handed. Priti Patel, another author, not to be outdone, just attacked her party as unmeritocratic, signalling her own humble background. And the less said about Gavin Williamson, the better. | Liz Truss returned to her Britannia Unchained theme in a clumsy leadership bid this week, calling for rapid deregulation of everything, and attacking Gove for his tiny environmental curbs on straws and wood-burning stoves. Remember, she’s the one who wanted child-minders so deregulated they should each care for six toddlers single-handed. Priti Patel, another author, not to be outdone, just attacked her party as unmeritocratic, signalling her own humble background. And the less said about Gavin Williamson, the better. |
| When Boris Johnson said “fuck business”, Jeremy Hunt suddenly realised he was being left behind and jumped in with his own ludicrous admonition to businesses such as Airbus to stop making “inappropriate … threats”. The party of business is dead and industry despairs, because for now, Brexit fantasies still beat the fatal facts, which risk bearing down too late. | When Boris Johnson said “fuck business”, Jeremy Hunt suddenly realised he was being left behind and jumped in with his own ludicrous admonition to businesses such as Airbus to stop making “inappropriate … threats”. The party of business is dead and industry despairs, because for now, Brexit fantasies still beat the fatal facts, which risk bearing down too late. |
| Others, too, rush to join this rogues’ gallery of ambitious fools and self-promoters, outbidding one another for Brexit zealotry. What makes them so despicable is that Brexit is just a tool in their leadership bid, not a war of ideas and ideals but mere power jockeying. May has lost control and the lower she sinks, the harder they compete for her job. The real damage done to their party is this: to win the leadership they have to be raving Brexiters and illiberal rightwingers. But to win a future general election, the new leader must swivel 180 degrees, as Cameron did, to pretend to be modern, compassionate, green, huggy and anything but nasty. | Others, too, rush to join this rogues’ gallery of ambitious fools and self-promoters, outbidding one another for Brexit zealotry. What makes them so despicable is that Brexit is just a tool in their leadership bid, not a war of ideas and ideals but mere power jockeying. May has lost control and the lower she sinks, the harder they compete for her job. The real damage done to their party is this: to win the leadership they have to be raving Brexiters and illiberal rightwingers. But to win a future general election, the new leader must swivel 180 degrees, as Cameron did, to pretend to be modern, compassionate, green, huggy and anything but nasty. |
| Imagine the EU leaders gazing down the table tonight at Theresa May, observing the rowdy rabble behind her who refuse to agree on anything. Why take her seriously, unless she can bring a serious Brexit proposition that conforms to the EU rules the UK helped draw up? Until then, should they laugh or cry? The Tory party in such shameless disarray is deeply damaging to us all. | Imagine the EU leaders gazing down the table tonight at Theresa May, observing the rowdy rabble behind her who refuse to agree on anything. Why take her seriously, unless she can bring a serious Brexit proposition that conforms to the EU rules the UK helped draw up? Until then, should they laugh or cry? The Tory party in such shameless disarray is deeply damaging to us all. |
| • Polly Toynbee is a Guardian columnist | • Polly Toynbee is a Guardian columnist |
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