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You can find the current article at its original source at https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/may/16/lets-lose-the-cliche-of-fighting-cancer-its-about-facing-reality
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| Let’s lose the cliche of ‘fighting’ cancer. It’s about facing reality | Let’s lose the cliche of ‘fighting’ cancer. It’s about facing reality |
| (25 days later) | |
| Your article (Pressure to fight cancer ‘may have negative effect’, 15 May) highlighted the fact that telling cancer patients to “fight” their disease only puts them under undue pressure and stops them from talking about end of life. | Your article (Pressure to fight cancer ‘may have negative effect’, 15 May) highlighted the fact that telling cancer patients to “fight” their disease only puts them under undue pressure and stops them from talking about end of life. |
| So much of the narrative around cancer today focuses on the “fight” against the disease. While more people than ever will survive, the reality is many people will still die from this illness. Planning for death shouldn’t be seen as giving up. Often, it’s more about taking back control and positively managing the condition. | So much of the narrative around cancer today focuses on the “fight” against the disease. While more people than ever will survive, the reality is many people will still die from this illness. Planning for death shouldn’t be seen as giving up. Often, it’s more about taking back control and positively managing the condition. |
| At Marie Curie we believe language around illness is very important – we try not to use words like “war”, “battle” or “fight”. The people we support have a terminal illness, whether it’s terminal cancer or another condition, and we focus on ensuring they have the right care, information and support. | At Marie Curie we believe language around illness is very important – we try not to use words like “war”, “battle” or “fight”. The people we support have a terminal illness, whether it’s terminal cancer or another condition, and we focus on ensuring they have the right care, information and support. |
| It’s incredibly important to start these conversations early on, so people can make their final wishes known to their families and to healthcare professionals. If this happens too late, or not at all, not only can this affect the person’s end-of-life care but their families can be left suffering feelings of guilt or regret. | It’s incredibly important to start these conversations early on, so people can make their final wishes known to their families and to healthcare professionals. If this happens too late, or not at all, not only can this affect the person’s end-of-life care but their families can be left suffering feelings of guilt or regret. |
| Broaching what can be a difficult subject can have a positive impact on how someone sees their illness and can help their families better cope, so that they can focus on enjoying the time they have together.Elaine HillDeputy director of nursing, Marie Curie | Broaching what can be a difficult subject can have a positive impact on how someone sees their illness and can help their families better cope, so that they can focus on enjoying the time they have together.Elaine HillDeputy director of nursing, Marie Curie |
| • At long last it has been recognised by those at the sharp end that the perception of “fighting” cancer (or indeed any terminal disease) can be not only inappropriate but actually counterproductive for the patient. I am in the terminal stage of emphysema, and the notion of “fighting” is entirely foreign to my nature; I prefer to face reality and to talk with everyone concerned about the situation, including how and where I want to die. I’ve discovered that I’m not in a minority in this respect, and it was extremely encouraging to read that a specialist at Macmillan considers that people should be allowed to “define their own experience without using language that might create a barrier to vital conversations about dying”. | • At long last it has been recognised by those at the sharp end that the perception of “fighting” cancer (or indeed any terminal disease) can be not only inappropriate but actually counterproductive for the patient. I am in the terminal stage of emphysema, and the notion of “fighting” is entirely foreign to my nature; I prefer to face reality and to talk with everyone concerned about the situation, including how and where I want to die. I’ve discovered that I’m not in a minority in this respect, and it was extremely encouraging to read that a specialist at Macmillan considers that people should be allowed to “define their own experience without using language that might create a barrier to vital conversations about dying”. |
| Grief will let go eventually. And then I’ll remember dad as he was | Owen Jones | Grief will let go eventually. And then I’ll remember dad as he was | Owen Jones |
| A recent Guardian article suggested that dying is the last taboo. This has been true in my lifetime, but I’ve become convinced that it’s no longer the case. Many terminally ill people actually want to talk (or write) about what a strange, disorienting and distressing experience it can be, and also to make arrangements for their death that will make things easier for all concerned. I’m not young, but I’m going to die before I’d have liked to, and probably before my hale 98-year-old mother, which causes me great sadness. But I have told her about it because I felt it would be worse for her to find out afterwards that others knew and she didn’t. | A recent Guardian article suggested that dying is the last taboo. This has been true in my lifetime, but I’ve become convinced that it’s no longer the case. Many terminally ill people actually want to talk (or write) about what a strange, disorienting and distressing experience it can be, and also to make arrangements for their death that will make things easier for all concerned. I’m not young, but I’m going to die before I’d have liked to, and probably before my hale 98-year-old mother, which causes me great sadness. But I have told her about it because I felt it would be worse for her to find out afterwards that others knew and she didn’t. |
| All I can do is take each day as it comes, take the medication, remain as active as I can and derive as much pleasure and joy out of life as possible. And might we now look forward to the Guardian leading the way by avoiding that tired and often inappropriate cliche “after a long battle with cancer”? Name and address supplied | All I can do is take each day as it comes, take the medication, remain as active as I can and derive as much pleasure and joy out of life as possible. And might we now look forward to the Guardian leading the way by avoiding that tired and often inappropriate cliche “after a long battle with cancer”? Name and address supplied |
| • Join the debate – email guardian.letters@theguardian.com | • Join the debate – email guardian.letters@theguardian.com |
| • Read more Guardian letters – click here to visit gu.com/letters | • Read more Guardian letters – click here to visit gu.com/letters |
| Cancer | Cancer |
| Death and dying | Death and dying |
| Health | Health |
| letters | letters |
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