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| The Shitty Media Men list was imperfect – but what else were women to do? | The Shitty Media Men list was imperfect – but what else were women to do? |
| (25 days later) | |
| Months after a short-lived, crowd-sourced list of “Shitty Media Men” made headlines and sowed controversy, the creator, Moira Donegan, has outed herself. In a powerful essay for New York magazine, Donegan explained the impetus behind the list, how it expanded and spread far beyond what she anticipated - and just how nervous that made her. | Months after a short-lived, crowd-sourced list of “Shitty Media Men” made headlines and sowed controversy, the creator, Moira Donegan, has outed herself. In a powerful essay for New York magazine, Donegan explained the impetus behind the list, how it expanded and spread far beyond what she anticipated - and just how nervous that made her. |
| For those of us who have seen the list and found it simultaneously exhilaratingly radical and terrifyingly unaccountable, Donegan’s accounting is cathartic. It captures our own appetite for a public reckoning about abusive men, tempered by our discomfort with the medium, its diffuseness and anonymity, and the nature of a small minority of the accusations. | For those of us who have seen the list and found it simultaneously exhilaratingly radical and terrifyingly unaccountable, Donegan’s accounting is cathartic. It captures our own appetite for a public reckoning about abusive men, tempered by our discomfort with the medium, its diffuseness and anonymity, and the nature of a small minority of the accusations. |
| But even this moment is a fraught one. I’m glad Donegan wrote her piece. I applaud her bravery and honesty and her willingness to grapple with the many complications of the list she created. But the circumstances under which she came forward are shameful. And even in a media universe increasingly responsive to #MeToo claims, I worry she’s going to have a hard time working in this industry again. | But even this moment is a fraught one. I’m glad Donegan wrote her piece. I applaud her bravery and honesty and her willingness to grapple with the many complications of the list she created. But the circumstances under which she came forward are shameful. And even in a media universe increasingly responsive to #MeToo claims, I worry she’s going to have a hard time working in this industry again. |
| Donegan wrote her piece because she suspected Harper’s Magazine was about to out her in a piece written by long-time feminism critic Katie Roiphe. A Harper’s fact-checker contacted Donegan to ask whether she was the list creator – an odd move given that it’s typically a reporter’s job to report foundational facts of a piece before they’re double-checked. | Donegan wrote her piece because she suspected Harper’s Magazine was about to out her in a piece written by long-time feminism critic Katie Roiphe. A Harper’s fact-checker contacted Donegan to ask whether she was the list creator – an odd move given that it’s typically a reporter’s job to report foundational facts of a piece before they’re double-checked. |
| Roiphe says she had the fact-checker do this crucial bit of reporting for her because Donegan “refused” to talk to her. | Roiphe says she had the fact-checker do this crucial bit of reporting for her because Donegan “refused” to talk to her. |
| According to Donegan, Roiphe contacted her once via email, asking to speak to her about a piece she was writing on the “feminist movement,” with no specific mention of Donegan’s role in the list creation. Donegan declined, only to be blindsided much later by the fact checker’s inquiry. | According to Donegan, Roiphe contacted her once via email, asking to speak to her about a piece she was writing on the “feminist movement,” with no specific mention of Donegan’s role in the list creation. Donegan declined, only to be blindsided much later by the fact checker’s inquiry. |
| Roiphe, it’s relevant to note, has made a long career of questioning women’s accounts of their own lives. Decades ago she wrote a book about sexual assault on college campuses, more or less claiming that hysterical feminists encouraged young women to exaggerate normal if awkward sexual interactions into rape claims. | Roiphe, it’s relevant to note, has made a long career of questioning women’s accounts of their own lives. Decades ago she wrote a book about sexual assault on college campuses, more or less claiming that hysterical feminists encouraged young women to exaggerate normal if awkward sexual interactions into rape claims. |
| That she was reporting this Harper’s piece understandably gave many women pause; numerous feminists familiar with her work simply don’t trust her motives, her reporting or her commitment to intellectual honesty. That Roiphe might be outing the woman who created a list to help women identify potentially abusive, manipulative and exploitative men spurned immediate rage. | That she was reporting this Harper’s piece understandably gave many women pause; numerous feminists familiar with her work simply don’t trust her motives, her reporting or her commitment to intellectual honesty. That Roiphe might be outing the woman who created a list to help women identify potentially abusive, manipulative and exploitative men spurned immediate rage. |
| Now, the outing question is moot. Whatever Roiphe’s piece ends up saying, it will not be the final word on the roiling debates about the list and the related onslaught of #MeToo claims. | Now, the outing question is moot. Whatever Roiphe’s piece ends up saying, it will not be the final word on the roiling debates about the list and the related onslaught of #MeToo claims. |
| How do we balance what’s at stake when we weigh the words of women versus those of men? It’s women’s safety and our potential for career success (so often stymied when we are harassed or humiliated) versus men’s reputations and their immediate right to maintain the jobs they hold. | How do we balance what’s at stake when we weigh the words of women versus those of men? It’s women’s safety and our potential for career success (so often stymied when we are harassed or humiliated) versus men’s reputations and their immediate right to maintain the jobs they hold. |
| In the court of public opinion – or an HR office – what’s the evidentiary standard for holding an accused person accountable? What bad acts are bad enough to merit which punishments? And where is the sweet spot between believing women – so that we may have equal access to safe and professional workplaces – and protecting the rights of the accused? | In the court of public opinion – or an HR office – what’s the evidentiary standard for holding an accused person accountable? What bad acts are bad enough to merit which punishments? And where is the sweet spot between believing women – so that we may have equal access to safe and professional workplaces – and protecting the rights of the accused? |
| These are all valuable inquiries. But the toughest and most pressing one is the same question that gnawed at Donegan before she created the list in the first place: what else are women supposed to do? | These are all valuable inquiries. But the toughest and most pressing one is the same question that gnawed at Donegan before she created the list in the first place: what else are women supposed to do? |
| Many of the incidents detailed on the list are serious physical assaults. But their nature – in private, between people who know each other – make them unlikely to be pursued by law enforcement. | Many of the incidents detailed on the list are serious physical assaults. But their nature – in private, between people who know each other – make them unlikely to be pursued by law enforcement. |
| That they often involve a powerful man and a woman who has a lot to lose creates a steep cost to publicly complaining. HR departments, if they even exist – and at smaller media companies they often don’t – can be more concerned with protecting management than female employees. Women who complain risk being seen as problem employees. | That they often involve a powerful man and a woman who has a lot to lose creates a steep cost to publicly complaining. HR departments, if they even exist – and at smaller media companies they often don’t – can be more concerned with protecting management than female employees. Women who complain risk being seen as problem employees. |
| Filing a civil harassment or assault complaint is also a challenge. There are a lot of hoops women have to jump through, it’s expensive to hire a lawyer, and there’s a high legal bar to clear to triumph in court. And of course, some of these incidents involve men who are not necessarily a boss or co-worker but someone powerful in an industry a woman works in. | Filing a civil harassment or assault complaint is also a challenge. There are a lot of hoops women have to jump through, it’s expensive to hire a lawyer, and there’s a high legal bar to clear to triumph in court. And of course, some of these incidents involve men who are not necessarily a boss or co-worker but someone powerful in an industry a woman works in. |
| So women talk to each other. It’s clearly not enough, given the ubiquity of workplace harassment and even assault. The media men list was an imperfect response. But as we are detailing our discomfort and tearing down the idea of an anonymous crowd-sourced list, it’s worth also thinking about what we can build instead. | So women talk to each other. It’s clearly not enough, given the ubiquity of workplace harassment and even assault. The media men list was an imperfect response. But as we are detailing our discomfort and tearing down the idea of an anonymous crowd-sourced list, it’s worth also thinking about what we can build instead. |
| Our current institutions are not working, and neither are more anti-feminist magazine articles that are heavy on finger-wagging critique and light on fresh ideas to combat a real problem. | Our current institutions are not working, and neither are more anti-feminist magazine articles that are heavy on finger-wagging critique and light on fresh ideas to combat a real problem. |
| Jill Filipovic is the author of the The H-Spot: The Feminist Pursuit of Happiness | Jill Filipovic is the author of the The H-Spot: The Feminist Pursuit of Happiness |
| Sign up for Jessica Valenti’s weekly newsletter on feminism and sexism | Sign up for Jessica Valenti’s weekly newsletter on feminism and sexism |