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You can find the current article at its original source at https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/jun/30/donald-trumps-facelift-barbs-fail-to-fix-wounds-from-fake-time-covers
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| Version 2 | Version 3 |
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| Donald Trump's facelift barbs fail to fix wounds from fake Time covers | Donald Trump's facelift barbs fail to fix wounds from fake Time covers |
| (1 day later) | |
| Evidence of the US president’s near-certifiable level of narcissism was back on show this week – swiftly followed by a personal attack on a newsreader | |
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| Fri 30 Jun 2017 14.46 BST | |
| Last modified on Fri 9 Feb 2018 18.42 GMT | |
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| Monday | Monday |
| For almost the first time since the state of my knees forced me to stop playing for the Hemingford Hermits, one of the country’s least competent cricket teams, I went to watch them play at the weekend. It wasn’t an altogether heroic homecoming, as half the team clearly hadn’t noticed I hadn’t been playing for the past four years and assumed I would be taking up my usual role as unreliable number nine batsmen and disappointing third change bowler. The only person who appears to have noticed my retirement is me and even I’m struggling. Retirement in sport is usually preceded by a gradual falling off in performance levels, but when you have had a batting average of 3.75 for your entire 30-year career it’s hard to notice you are getting a little bit worse every season. Not least when there is still the prospect of a thick edge through the slips to the boundary to send your average rocketing above four. Still, it was good to see that some things about the Hermits hadn’t changed. Having got the opposition nine down and needing more than 50 for victory, they still contrived to lose. My kind of team. | For almost the first time since the state of my knees forced me to stop playing for the Hemingford Hermits, one of the country’s least competent cricket teams, I went to watch them play at the weekend. It wasn’t an altogether heroic homecoming, as half the team clearly hadn’t noticed I hadn’t been playing for the past four years and assumed I would be taking up my usual role as unreliable number nine batsmen and disappointing third change bowler. The only person who appears to have noticed my retirement is me and even I’m struggling. Retirement in sport is usually preceded by a gradual falling off in performance levels, but when you have had a batting average of 3.75 for your entire 30-year career it’s hard to notice you are getting a little bit worse every season. Not least when there is still the prospect of a thick edge through the slips to the boundary to send your average rocketing above four. Still, it was good to see that some things about the Hermits hadn’t changed. Having got the opposition nine down and needing more than 50 for victory, they still contrived to lose. My kind of team. |
| Tuesday | Tuesday |
| There are times when parliament seems more interested in debating semantics than matters of policy or national interest. Today, Jeremy Hunt was forced to answer an urgent question on how the NHS Shared Business Services had failed to deliver more than 700,000 pieces of mail relating to blood test results, cancer screening and child protection notes to GPs’ surgeries around the country. Although Labour MPs were keen to know what had gone wrong, the health secretary was at pains to point out that nothing had actually been lost. It was just that for over a year no one had any idea where any of these letters actually were. The fact that they hadn’t dematerialised was proof that all his department’s systems were basically working just fine. Hunt also appeared to make much the same argument for the 35 bags of mail that are known to have been burned. Because he knew what had happened to them, the contents weren’t technically lost. Anyone still wondering if they have cancer is invited to sift through the ashes. | There are times when parliament seems more interested in debating semantics than matters of policy or national interest. Today, Jeremy Hunt was forced to answer an urgent question on how the NHS Shared Business Services had failed to deliver more than 700,000 pieces of mail relating to blood test results, cancer screening and child protection notes to GPs’ surgeries around the country. Although Labour MPs were keen to know what had gone wrong, the health secretary was at pains to point out that nothing had actually been lost. It was just that for over a year no one had any idea where any of these letters actually were. The fact that they hadn’t dematerialised was proof that all his department’s systems were basically working just fine. Hunt also appeared to make much the same argument for the 35 bags of mail that are known to have been burned. Because he knew what had happened to them, the contents weren’t technically lost. Anyone still wondering if they have cancer is invited to sift through the ashes. |
| Wednesday | Wednesday |
| It was touching to see people had left flowers by the statue of Paddington Bear at Paddington station to mark the death of Michael Bond. Paddington was as important a figure to me when I was growing up as Harry Potter was to my children. I first started reading Paddington in the early 1960s and haven’t ever really stopped: the books are timeless pleasures and the signed copies I have are among my most treasured possessions. Apart from teaching me to love reading, Paddington taught me how to eat. I still like to snack on marmalade sandwiches. I also like to think Paddington showed me the value of a social conscience. On Twitter, I found that Michael Bond had written this in response to the detention of children at Yarl’s Wood: “Mrs Bird, who looks after the Browns, says if she had her way she would set the children free and lock up a few politicians in their place to see how they liked it!” | It was touching to see people had left flowers by the statue of Paddington Bear at Paddington station to mark the death of Michael Bond. Paddington was as important a figure to me when I was growing up as Harry Potter was to my children. I first started reading Paddington in the early 1960s and haven’t ever really stopped: the books are timeless pleasures and the signed copies I have are among my most treasured possessions. Apart from teaching me to love reading, Paddington taught me how to eat. I still like to snack on marmalade sandwiches. I also like to think Paddington showed me the value of a social conscience. On Twitter, I found that Michael Bond had written this in response to the detention of children at Yarl’s Wood: “Mrs Bird, who looks after the Browns, says if she had her way she would set the children free and lock up a few politicians in their place to see how they liked it!” |
| Thursday | Thursday |
| This week it was revealed that The Donald has had mock-ups of Time magazine covers with pictures of him on the front posted on the walls of four of his golf clubs. Given that there must be any number of real magazine front covers with him on the front, this suggests a degree of narcissism that is bordering on the certifiable. Time has asked the president to take the fake covers down, but so far The Donald shows no sign of even accepting they aren’t real. Rather he has chosen to double down by attacking two TV presenters on Twitter – where else? – who had been critical of him. First by insisting he never watched the show he appeared to follow all too closely and then by suggesting one presenter was bleeding from a facelift. Not the brightest move of The Donald to make fun of someone’s botched plastic surgery. | This week it was revealed that The Donald has had mock-ups of Time magazine covers with pictures of him on the front posted on the walls of four of his golf clubs. Given that there must be any number of real magazine front covers with him on the front, this suggests a degree of narcissism that is bordering on the certifiable. Time has asked the president to take the fake covers down, but so far The Donald shows no sign of even accepting they aren’t real. Rather he has chosen to double down by attacking two TV presenters on Twitter – where else? – who had been critical of him. First by insisting he never watched the show he appeared to follow all too closely and then by suggesting one presenter was bleeding from a facelift. Not the brightest move of The Donald to make fun of someone’s botched plastic surgery. |
| Friday | Friday |
| Yoga may be more dangerous than it appears. Far from being the lifestyle shortcut of choice to a healthy mind and body, a study by the University of Sydney has found that yoga caused musculoskeletal pain in 10% of practitioners and exacerbated existing injuries in 23% more – roughly in line with injuries picked up in all other sports. I can’t say I am particularly surprised. On the few occasions I have been to yoga classes, I have always found they brought out the worst in me. The more the teacher urges everyone to concentrate on their breathing and realign their chakras, the more I end up trying to force my body into the same compliant positions that seem to come naturally to everyone else. Not always to any obvious benefit. Judging by the Australian findings, I’m not alone in this. Forget peace and love: yoga is a full-on competitive sport. Especially for those with passive-aggressive tendencies. | Yoga may be more dangerous than it appears. Far from being the lifestyle shortcut of choice to a healthy mind and body, a study by the University of Sydney has found that yoga caused musculoskeletal pain in 10% of practitioners and exacerbated existing injuries in 23% more – roughly in line with injuries picked up in all other sports. I can’t say I am particularly surprised. On the few occasions I have been to yoga classes, I have always found they brought out the worst in me. The more the teacher urges everyone to concentrate on their breathing and realign their chakras, the more I end up trying to force my body into the same compliant positions that seem to come naturally to everyone else. Not always to any obvious benefit. Judging by the Australian findings, I’m not alone in this. Forget peace and love: yoga is a full-on competitive sport. Especially for those with passive-aggressive tendencies. |
| Digested week: The magic money tree delivers | Digested week: The magic money tree delivers |
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