New York Today: Two Men and a Baby

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/06/16/nyregion/new-york-today-two-men-and-a-baby.html

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Good morning on this runny Friday.

Growing up, Jeffrey Bugajski and Tarik Flannagan knew they wanted something not often shown as part of gay life in popular culture: They wanted to be fathers.

They may soon officially get their wish.

For more than a year, they have been foster parents to Avery, a girl who is now 16 months old, and if all goes well, they will soon be adopting her.

With both Father’s Day and the kickoff to NYC Pride this weekend, we spoke to the couple about their time as dads.

Mr. Bugajski, 37, an assistant principal at a school in Queens for children with special needs, said that, as gay men in New York City, “I feel like we’re almost going against the grain.”

At information sessions and classes for foster parents, they noticed that not only were they the only gay couple in the room, but they were also among the few men there.

“Even though we are this gay, interracial couple, they still loved the fact that men were in the room starting this process,” said Mr. Flannagan 37, a television producer. “That was really cool.”

The couple, who met nine years ago on Match.com and married in 2015, recently moved to New Rochelle from the Upper West Side.

Avery arrived at their home last year when she was 3 weeks old and not yet named. She was introduced to them as “Baby Girl.”

The two men quickly took to parenting, and the extra cooking, cleaning and caring that came with it.

“Several times, I’ve been stopped by men giving me props for taking care of my child,” Mr. Flannagan said on a recent afternoon in Harlem. “It’s funny how many times it’s happened.”

More than a year into fatherhood, the couple said they hadn’t yet encountered any obstacles that might come with raising a girl.

But they do foresee one potential challenge.

“I don’t know anything about lady parts,” Mr. Flannagan said with a laugh. “I can still teach her, but the only thing I can’t offer her is what it feels like to be a woman.”

“We’re able to check all the other boxes,” he added. “There’s nothing that a man can’t do that a woman would have done.”

Surrounded by friends and family, the couple said, they also are able to offer Avery a stable environment.

“What it comes down to is making sure that we put our needs second and her needs first,” said Mr. Bugajski.

And that part has been easy.

“One day we had her, and then everything changed, and then every day has gotten better,” he said.

“It’s been incredible,” Mr. Flannagan added. “Fatherhood is not for everybody, gay or straight. But for those that are doing it or want to do it, it will change your life.”

Here’s what else is happening:

It’s a case of bad timing.

Right as our weekend is set to begin, so are the thunderstorms.

You can expect anything from a drizzle to a shower all the way into next week.

Today is looking particularly gray — and cool: The high is near 72.

• Mayor Bill de Blasio announced initiatives toward his goal of creating 100,000 jobs, but couldn’t say where 60,000 of those would come from. [New York Times]

• Mr. de Blasio has expanded the city’s work force to its highest level in history: a costly — and risky — investment. [New York Times]

• For the first time in eight years, the State Senate Committee on Ethics and Internal Governance held a public meeting. [New York Times]

• Passengers praised the new Long Island Rail Road concourse, but wondered when the rest of the area’s transit might start measuring up to global standards. [New York Times]

• In “About New York,” Jim Dwyer writes about the millions of dollars offered to Hudson Yards to pay for the subway. Instead we got offices. [New York Times]

• The lack of an African-American challenger in the mayoral race highlights the absence of a rising generation of black politicians in New York, writes Ginia Bellafante in “Big City.” [New York Times]

• Will New Yorkers use the free sunscreen offered by the city? [New York Times]

• Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo nominated the first openly gay judge to the New York Court of Appeals. [WNYC]

• A man who was caught on video breaking a deli clerk’s jaw by throwing avocados and bananas at him was arrested, the police said. [NY1]

• The 14th Street express bus service that is being introduced in anticipation of the L train shutdown will be permanent, according to the Metropolitan Transportation Authority. [DNAinfo]

• An S.U.V. injured nine people after jumping a curb in Hell’s Kitchen. [CBS]

• Today’s Metropolitan Diary: “A Soldier at the Ballgame”

• Scoreboard: Athletics outperform Yankees, 8-7. Nationals overrule Mets, 8-3.

• For a global look at what’s happening, see Your Friday Briefing.

• Visit the “Donald J. Trump Presidential Twitter Library,” presented by “The Daily Show,” at 3 West 57th Street. 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. [Free]

• An afternoon of jazz music, performed by the Quintet of the Americas, at Elm-Cor Senior Center in East Elmhurst, Queens. 2 p.m. [Free]

• Watch contemporary ballet performances as the sun sets in Bryant Park in Midtown. 6 p.m. [Free]

• An outdoor screening of “Central Intelligence” at Rainey Park in the Bronx. 8 p.m. [Free]

• LoftOpera presents a performance of Pergolesi’s “Stabat Mater” and selections of Vivaldi, at the Muse in Bushwick, Brooklyn. 8:30 p.m. [$30]

• Liberty at Dallas Wings, 8 p.m. (MSG). Yankees at Athletics, 9:35 p.m. (YES). Mets host Nationals, 7:10 p.m. (SNY).

• Alternate-side parking remains in effect until June 25.

• Weekend travel hassles: Check subway disruptions and a list of street closings.

Saturday

• Stand-up from L.G.B.T. comedians, part of the weekend-long QueerCom festival, at the People’s Improv Theater in the Flatiron. Prices and times vary.

• Learn how to make a trellis for your garden at Wave Hill in the Bronx. 9:30 a.m. to 4 p.m. [$60]

• A Civil War re-enactment at Maple Grove Cemetery in Kew Gardens, Queens. 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. [Free]

• Explore local galleries and artist studios on the Harlem Art Stroll. 1 to 6 p.m. [Free]

• More than 60 bands, artists and educators gather for Porch Stomp, a day of folk music performances and workshops, on Governors Island. 11:30 and 5 p.m. [Free]

• Yankees at Athletics, 4:05 p.m. (YES). Mets host Nationals, 4:10 p.m. (WPIX). New York City F.C. host Seattle Sounders F.C., 1 p.m. (ESPN).

Sunday

• Adults can learn to ride a bike in Jackie Robinson Park in Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn. 10 a.m. [Free]

• A screening of “Julio of Jackson Heights,” part of the Queens Pride celebration, at the Queens Museum in Flushing Meadows-Corona Park. 12:45 p.m. [$8 suggested admission]

• Take a beginners’ archery class at Willowbrook Park on Staten Island. 1 p.m. [Free]

• Hop in a boat and row on the Hudson River at Pier 40 in Lower Manhattan. Noon to 6 p.m. [Free]

• Catch the final performance of the contentious Shakespeare in the Park production of “Julius Caesar” at the Delacorte Theater in Central Park. 8 p.m. [Free]

• Yankees at Athletics, 4:05 p.m. (YES). Mets host Nationals, 1:10 p.m. (WPIX). New York Red Bulls at Philadelphia Union, 5 p.m. (ESPN).

• For more events, see The New York Times’s Arts & Entertainment guide.

There’s no shortage of ways to celebrate NYC Pride during the next 10 days, including family movie night, concerts, parties and the march.

But one of the most fascinating ways to celebrate is to explore the city’s long and storied L.G.B.T. history.

You can start, for example, on a tour of influential African-American New Yorkers, stopping by the apartment on the Upper West Side where James Baldwin once lived, or the rowhouse in Harlem where Langston Hughes wrote some of his most important work.

Get a feel for what L.G.B.T. life was like before the 1900s at the Staten Island home of Alice Austin, a photographer whose work included shots of women in drag, or imagine sipping tea at the Grand Hotel with Oscar Wilde, who spent time there during his tour of the United States in 1882.

Alternatively, you could get to know the L.G.B.T. history behind the city’s architecture, like the Bethesda Fountain in Central Park (designed by the sculptor Emma Stebbins), Lincoln Center (the site of the first AIDS walk in 1986), and the Greenwich Village waterfront (a cruising site and later a location for organizing black and Latino L.G.B.T. youth).

You can also explore lesbian life before the Stonewall clashes, transgender history in the city, famous gay bars, sites that were important during the AIDS crisis, early L.G.B.T. community centers or one of these other curated tours or landmarks.

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