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Lord Buckethead agrees to step in and take controls as Theresa May's Brexit spirals into chaos | |
(about 3 hours later) | |
Just as Britain's exit from the EU seems to be spiralling into total chaos, an unlikely saviour from outer space has declared himself ready to step in and take the controls. | Just as Britain's exit from the EU seems to be spiralling into total chaos, an unlikely saviour from outer space has declared himself ready to step in and take the controls. |
Lord Buckethead of Kent won 249 votes and widespread acclaim across both traditional and social media when he stood against Theresa May in Maidenhead in Thursday night's general election. | Lord Buckethead of Kent won 249 votes and widespread acclaim across both traditional and social media when he stood against Theresa May in Maidenhead in Thursday night's general election. |
Dressed entirely in a Darth Vader-esque black costume topped off with an elongated bucket on his head, he pledged to nationalise Adele and abolish the Lords - “except me”. | Dressed entirely in a Darth Vader-esque black costume topped off with an elongated bucket on his head, he pledged to nationalise Adele and abolish the Lords - “except me”. |
Not content with providing welcome amusement (and a focus for protest votes) in a long-held and cherished tradition of eccentric British independent candidates, the intergalactic space lord has now agreed to help avert Brexit disaster. | Not content with providing welcome amusement (and a focus for protest votes) in a long-held and cherished tradition of eccentric British independent candidates, the intergalactic space lord has now agreed to help avert Brexit disaster. |
The election saw Theresa May's electoral gamble aimed at securing a mandate for hard Brexit backfire spectacularly, returning a hung parliament that has thrown the British negotiating position into total confusion just as talks are due to begin. | The election saw Theresa May's electoral gamble aimed at securing a mandate for hard Brexit backfire spectacularly, returning a hung parliament that has thrown the British negotiating position into total confusion just as talks are due to begin. |
Comedian John Oliver was the one to suggest Britain might now turn to Lord Buckethead in its hour of need. | Comedian John Oliver was the one to suggest Britain might now turn to Lord Buckethead in its hour of need. |
Mr Oliver said that the leader of the negotiations should be "someone with a firm, leather-clad grasp of the issues", with a "bucket list of demands and an honest, slightly muffled voice". | Mr Oliver said that the leader of the negotiations should be "someone with a firm, leather-clad grasp of the issues", with a "bucket list of demands and an honest, slightly muffled voice". |
Proclaiming his "strong, not entirely stable, leadership”, Lord Buckethead seems unafraid to bring bold ideas to the table and tell it like it is to puny Earthlings of all stripes. | Proclaiming his "strong, not entirely stable, leadership”, Lord Buckethead seems unafraid to bring bold ideas to the table and tell it like it is to puny Earthlings of all stripes. |
“Your planet is so small,” he told people of Kent at a local debate. | “Your planet is so small,” he told people of Kent at a local debate. |
“If I were you, I’d stick together. I’ve seen the asteroid coming your way. I think you’ve got bigger things to worry about.” | “If I were you, I’d stick together. I’ve seen the asteroid coming your way. I think you’ve got bigger things to worry about.” |
He also suggested a referendum to decide whether or not there should be another referendum, as stated on point six of his manifesto. | He also suggested a referendum to decide whether or not there should be another referendum, as stated on point six of his manifesto. |
“Wouldn't that solve it? Then we’ll know what the people think. And then they’ll know what I think.” | “Wouldn't that solve it? Then we’ll know what the people think. And then they’ll know what I think.” |
He has already shown an ability to compromise, proposing “a moratorium until 2022 on whether Birmingham should be converted into a star base”. | He has already shown an ability to compromise, proposing “a moratorium until 2022 on whether Birmingham should be converted into a star base”. |
He has also recognised the need to confront controversial issues like selling arms to Saudi Arabia and propose sensible alternatives, such as “Start buying lasers from Lord Buckethead”. | He has also recognised the need to confront controversial issues like selling arms to Saudi Arabia and propose sensible alternatives, such as “Start buying lasers from Lord Buckethead”. |
Social media users reacted with enthusiasm to the idea of him taking the mantle from Ms May to enter talks with Jean-Claude Juncker. | Social media users reacted with enthusiasm to the idea of him taking the mantle from Ms May to enter talks with Jean-Claude Juncker. |
“Ladies & Gentlemen, your new #Brexit negotiator Lord Buckethead!!! That's right. On ur Knees Earthlings!!!” tweeted one user. | “Ladies & Gentlemen, your new #Brexit negotiator Lord Buckethead!!! That's right. On ur Knees Earthlings!!!” tweeted one user. |
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