Rows and acrimony dominate in the media, but what is it like to actually be a gay priest in the Church of England? Philosopher Mark Vernon, who left his job as a clergyman, gives his view.
Rows and acrimony dominate in the media, but what is it like to actually be a gay priest in the Church of England? Philosopher Mark Vernon, who left his job as a clergyman, gives his view.
One of the paradoxes of the row over homosexuality in the Anglican church is that there have been, are, and always will be gay priests. Many gay priests. I know. I was one.
One of the paradoxes of the row over homosexuality in the Anglican church is that there have been, are, and always will be gay priests. Many gay priests. I know. I was one.
But that paradox - or better, absurdity - shouldn't detract from the seriousness of the message being championed by Bishop Gene Robinson. He is the first openly gay and "partnered" bishop in the Anglican communion and is in the news because he has been barred from attending the Lambeth Conference as a bishop.
But that paradox - or better, absurdity - shouldn't detract from the seriousness of the message being championed by Bishop Gene Robinson. He is the first openly gay and "partnered" bishop in the Anglican communion and is in the news because he has been barred from attending the Lambeth Conference as a bishop. It was only after leaving that being gay got me into serious trouble Mark Vernon
It was only after leaving that being gay got me into serious trouble Mark Vernon
What Bishop Robinson is declaring is that gay people are not an "abomination". This is the most important thing that he has to say, much more so than what he thinks about his fellow bishops, or the conference, or even Christianity. With luck, it will be heard by gay men and women worldwide. For even today, many in the church and the world still say that we are.
What Bishop Robinson is declaring is that gay people are not an "abomination". This is the most important thing that he has to say, much more so than what he thinks about his fellow bishops, or the conference, or even Christianity. With luck, it will be heard by gay men and women worldwide. For even today, many in the church and the world still say that we are.
I was ordained in 1993 and worked for three years as a curate in the North East of England. I had a liberal bishop and so long as I was discrete, I met no ecclesiastical barriers for being gay. And I was content to be discreet.
I was ordained in 1993 and worked for three years as a curate in the North East of England. I had a liberal bishop and so long as I was discreet, I met no ecclesiastical barriers for being gay. And I was content to be discreet.
Keeping tabs
Keeping tabs
At the time it seemed that it was only a question of time until the church embraced rainbow dog-collars, and maybe even a pinker hue of purple shirt.
At the time it seemed that it was only a question of time until the church embraced rainbow dog-collars, and maybe even a pinker hue of purple shirt.
That said, there was another, more complicated, reason why I was content to be discreet. One of the things about being gay is that you learn, from a very early age, to keep tabs on who knows. You can never be sure how people will react to that most intimate of personal details - who you love. Mark Vernon left his job after three years of living a lie
That said, there was another, more complicated, reason why I was content to be discreet. One of the things about being gay is that you learn, from a very early age, to keep tabs on who knows. You can never be sure how people will react to that most intimate of personal details - who you love. Mark Vernon left his job after three years of living a lie
A priest, though, is called to preach a gospel of love. So when you are gay, this gospel traps you. You must keep tabs on who knows about the most immediate way that God's love comes to you, which is to say with someone of the same sex.
A priest, though, is called to preach a gospel of love. So when you are gay, this gospel traps you. You must keep tabs on who knows about the most immediate way that God's love comes to you, which is to say with someone of the same sex.
This means that you internalise the charge of being an abomination. You live a lie. And like any lived lie, insidious psychological damage is the price.
This means that you internalise the charge of being an abomination. You live a lie. And like any lived lie, insidious psychological damage is the price.
After three years, I couldn't handle the pretence any longer. I left, even though I had ostensibly had an easy ride in the church. Moreover, I left an atheist, a loss of faith that came about for a number of reasons, though the pretence played a major part.
After three years, I couldn't handle the pretence any longer. I left, even though I had ostensibly had an easy ride in the church. Moreover, I left an atheist, a loss of faith that came about for a number of reasons, though the pretence played a major part.
Ironically enough, it was only after leaving that being gay got me into serious trouble. I had run a website for the Lesbian and Gay Christian (LGCM) movement. We'd put up a link to an American website, on which could be found a poem that had been banned in the 1970s when Mary Whitehouse brought a successful action for blasphemy against the magazine Gay News.
Ironically enough, it was only after leaving that being gay got me into serious trouble. I had run a website for the Lesbian and Gay Christian (LGCM) movement. We'd put up a link to an American website, on which could be found a poem that had been banned in the 1970s when Mary Whitehouse brought a successful action for blasphemy against the magazine Gay News.
A conservative evangelical group, Reform, found out. They made a complaint to the police. Over a period of 18 months, I was questioned under caution twice. Computers were seized. Questions were asked in the House of Commons.
A conservative evangelical group, Reform, found out. They made a complaint to the police. Over a period of 18 months, I was questioned under caution twice. Computers were seized. Questions were asked in the House of Commons.
The case fell apart, which in retrospect is hardly surprising. However, the incident was personally unnerving, and it demonstrates the anxiety that conservative Christians can bring to bear upon gay people.
The case fell apart, which in retrospect is hardly surprising. However, the incident was personally unnerving, and it demonstrates the anxiety that conservative Christians can bring to bear upon gay people.
So it is wrong that Gene Robinson has been barred from attending Lambeth. The church has missed a chance to undo some of the damage it does to gay people. I only hope gay people are listening not to the ranks of episcopal dignitaries, but to the one, thankfully troublesome, gay bishop.
So it is wrong that Gene Robinson has been barred from attending Lambeth. The church has missed a chance to undo some of the damage it does to gay people. I only hope gay people are listening not to the ranks of episcopal dignitaries, but to the one, thankfully troublesome, gay bishop.
