Gabourey Sidibe: By the Book

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/04/books/review/gabourey-sidibe-by-the-book.html

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The actress and author of “This Is Just My Face” found herself rereading Ruthie Mae Bolton’s “Gal,” “each time understanding more and more, the blessing and the burden of being a black woman.”

What books are currently on your night stand?

I’m currently reading “Difficult Women,” by Roxane Gay, and I’m getting my life from it! From the very first chapter about sisters who survived a kidnapping as children, I was hooked. I always think about what happens to regular people who go through tragic circumstances as children and how it affects their lives as adults. Even when it’s fiction, I believe every word of it. Roxane Gay seems to have a knack for fearlessly telling the truth. Even in her fiction.

What’s the last great book you read?

“The Grownup,” by Gillian Flynn. I love Gillian Flynn books. They are all so dark and filled with twisted characters who are dirty, yet posing as squeaky clean. I love her sadistic characters. Fake psychics, sociopathic adults and children alike. You never know what’s bubbling under the surface of any of them, and it’s always so fun to uncover the mystery within the creeps she creates.

What classic novel did you recently read for the first time?

“The Catcher in the Rye.” Is this book really a classic or do we all just know it because of its strange involvement in the death of John Lennon? Either way, it’s a beautiful story. I remember when I was a teenager, I would read teeny-bopper magazines, and all of my celebrity crushes would list “The Catcher in the Rye” as their favorite book. I made a mental note to read it one day myself so that I could feel as cool as those teen stars. But then I forgot. I only read it more recently because my friend Danny Strong will soon release a film about J. D. Salinger. I waited way too long. I wish I’d found Holden Caulfield when I was an angsty teenager and really needed this character to show me that feeling out of place is actually pretty normal.

What’s your favorite book no one else has heard of?

“Gal,” by Ruthie Mae Bolton. It was one of the first books my mom and I traded. She read it first and then I did at probably too young an age to understand the complexities of being a child of the South in the 1960s who is not only witness to abuse but also subject to abuse, and what strength of character was needed to then become caretaker of her abuser. I might’ve been around 12 when I first read “Gal,” and I found myself rereading it every five years or so, each time understanding more and more, the blessing and the burden of being a black woman.

What’s the last book that made you laugh?

“Shrill,” by Lindy West. She gets me.

The last book to make you cry?

“Shrill,” by Lindy West. She gets me.

The last book that made you furious?

“The Radical King,” edited by Cornel West. Reading these writings of Martin Luther King Jr., I felt infuriated that he preached for love and acceptance and tried his best to battle hate, but that still all of his work was seen as terroristic and he was gunned down. I’m mostly pissed because today isn’t different enough from then. #BlackLivesMatter is somehow considered to be racist hate speech, and the movement is being likened to the K.K.K. I was furious reading King’s words on love, because even after everything, he died fighting for us from a place of love. What’s the proper way to protest, then? Rage doesn’t work, love doesn’t work, and silence definitely doesn’t work. What will help us be seen as human, so that this endless cycle of violence against people of color and the injustice we face can come to an end? Can it ever? If a man like King who fought with love couldn’t do it, what hope do we have? It’s an unanswerable question for me. I know that rage isn’t the answer, but lately it’s all I seem to feel concerning the state of our country.

What do you read for solace? For escape? For sheer pleasure?

I read Alice Walker for solace. I love a great deal of her writing, but I always go back to “The Color Purple.” When I couldn’t afford therapy, I’d read about Celie and her depressing life that was somehow still filled with hope and color. “This life soon be over. Heaven last all ways.” Just reading those two sentences would make me feel better about my own troubles.

For escape, I read David Sedaris. It feels like I’m always on a six-hour plane ride, and I love to take that time to listen to a Sedaris audiobook. His tales about his family, or living in Japan or France, or his part-time job as an elf during Christmas, whispered in my ear as I try my best to sit still and pretend I’m not smelling a million farts trapped in business class, are very soothing.

I read Zane for straight-up pleasure. She is one of my favorite writers for erotica. I’m secretly a weirdo, and I really like reading about people making panicked love to each other when they really shouldn’t. I feel like a lot of Zane’s stories are about forbidden romance, one way or another, and I live for it! Her books always have interesting titles and covers. I remember when I worked in an office as a phone sex operator, I would read her book “Gettin’ Buck Wild” on the train on the way to work while feeling embarrassed when other commuters would see the cover of the book and wink at me. But also I’d be getting some great ideas about what to say to callers once I got to work. The embarrassment was worth it. I made pretty good money on the phones.

What are your favorite books about acting or about Hollywood?

“Bossypants,” by Tina Fey. Amy Poehler’s book “Yes Please” is great as well. Honestly, I love comedians more than I love the idea of Hollywood. I’m not really interested in what anyone has to say about Hollywood unless it’s from the perspective of someone making fun of it like I try to do. I just love funny and fearless women who boldly tell their stories on their own terms, and Amy and Tina never disappoint. Also, I’ve always been obsessed with “Saturday Night Live,” and both these books give a pretty great behind-the-scenes view of what it’s like to work there and be a part of helping that well-oiled machine run. I’ve hosted “S.N.L.” myself, and I’m still in wonder of it, so I really appreciate both books.

Which writers — novelists, playwrights, critics, journalists, poets — working today do you admire most?

Lin-Manuel Miranda is a gift to the earth. We don’t deserve him. He is Shakespeare in the flesh. A true Renaissance man. I love musical theater. I always have. I love songs from “West Side Story,” “The Sound of Music” and “Into the Woods.” But I’m black. I’m from Brooklyn and Harlem and from a really far-away land that the average musical doesn’t reach. Growing up, I was made fun of and considered weird for the kind of music I was interested in. The only acceptable music choices were hip-hop and R&B, and while I loved and still love that music, there was room in my heart for Sondheim classics as well. Through “Hamilton,” Miranda has bridged the gap among all of my musical loves by painting a beautiful and heartfelt story while using the music that helped to raise me. The music I hear in my head when I think about my childhood and my family. He also taught me about American history in a way that excited me and made me feel proud to be an American — even though I know that as an African-American, at that point in history my ancestors were being forced to work in the fields here, stolen from their homes in Africa, and being abused and treated like animals in both places. “Hamilton” feels like a stolen history, gifted back to people of color as a way to have us all be able to enjoy and take pride in what this country was built to be. We are young, scrappy and hungry, and it’s best to not throw away our shots.

What moves you most in a work of literature?

I’m best moved by characters who are between a rock and a hard place. Who feel trapped but aren’t really sad about it. Just inconvenienced by their circumstances. Sadness is too easy an emotion. People hardly ever talk about being inconvenienced as an emotion.

Which genres do you especially enjoy reading? And which do you avoid?

I love good mystery! As a child, I was obsessed with the “Clue” series, as well as “Fear Street,” by R. L. Stine. Some killer was always on the loose, and I loved trying to figure out who it was. I also loved the Two-Minute Mysteries series. I avoid self-help books. It’s just…shut up. You don’t know my life. Tell me a story. If I get something from it on my own, that’s wonderful! Do not tell me what to do.

How do you like to read? Paper or electronic? One book at a time or simultaneously? Morning or night? Do you like reading on set?

I prefer paper. I love a book I can hold in my hand. I love dog-earing pages to give it character. My house has four bookshelves in it, and I want to fill them all with books. I can’t do that with an iPad. Although I travel a ton, so I listen to audiobooks on planes. I tend to read more than one book at a time. It can take me months to get through one book because I’m so greedy. I read whenever my brain isn’t too occupied. I don’t read on set. I don’t get to read at all when I’m working. I just can’t divide my brain between reading for work and reading for fun. I’ve seen other actors do it and I just can’t!

What book might people be surprised to find on your shelves?

I have a picture book of X-rays of different household items that people have gotten stuck up their butts. That’s pretty surprising.

What’s the best book you’ve ever received as a gift?

When I was a kid, my parents got me a joke book. I hated children then even though I was a child myself, but having a joke book helped me to engage with kids my own age in order to attempt to make them laugh. This helped me to come out of my shell a bit and to realize that I wanted to be a comedian when I grew up. That was pretty great. Even though I didn’t grow up to be a comedian, I use comedy all the time to engage with strangers, even though I’m really shy. No matter what any bathroom wall in America says about me, I assure you, I’m very shy.

Who is your favorite fictional hero or heroine? Your favorite antihero or villain?

Dolores Price (in Wally Lamb’s “She’s Come Undone”) is one of my favorite fictional heroines. It’s between her and Celie (“The Color Purple”). I love them both, but Dolores is a chubby little girl with an attitude but also boy-crazy. That’s me at that age, and that’s me right this second. My favorite villain is Olivia Foxworth (Grandmother Foxworth in the Dollanganger series by V. C. Andrews). She’s so cold and harsh to her family in the first book, but then in “Garden of Shadows,” we get to see what her life was like, and we learn the truth about her and her entire family. After reading it, I went back to the first book, when she becomes an embittered devil of a person, but I was rooting for her now, yelling, “Go off, Grandma!” as she pours tar on Cathy’s hair and feeds arsenic-laced doughnuts to her own grandchildren. I really love an origin story, dammit!

What kind of reader were you as a child? Which childhood books and authors stick with you most?

I was a pretty aggressive reader as a kid. I didn’t have friends, so I would often read books at recess instead of playing. When all of the kids in my class were reading “Goosebumps,” I was already on to R. L. Stine’s Fear Street series. Stine was my favorite writer. Reading books that were meant for teenagers at the age of 9 gave me a peek into what I could soon expect from being a teenage girl myself. Plus, people were dying! These mysteries were edgier than Sweet Valley High, which I regarded as too soft. I was very sophisticated in my own head. I also read Stephen King books and autobiographies about celebrities I admired, like Tina Turner and Louie Anderson. I was always afraid to ask for money to go to the movies, so I would ask to buy the book of the latest Disney movie instead, which was always much cheaper and lasted longer than a movie.

If you could require the president to read one book, what would it be?

The president cannot read.

You’re organizing a literary dinner party. Which three writers, dead or alive, do you invite?

R.L. Stine, because I was truly obsessed with him as a child. V. C. Andrews. I’d just like to know her thoughts on all of the books that were written after her death and included in the series that she started. Also I need to discuss the Lifetime movies based on her Dollanganger series. And David Sedaris. Because he’s family. Duh! Also Beyoncé. I know you said three writers, but are you going to tell Beyoncé that she can’t come to dinner? I didn’t think so.

Disappointing, overrated, just not good: What book did you feel you were supposed to like, and didn’t? Do you remember the last book you put down without finishing?

Oh God! So many! I put down books all the time and never pick them up again. Sometimes because I just didn’t really like the book, but also just because I have to go to work, and I forget about reading until whatever project I’m working on is through. Someone gave me “The Four Agreements” as a gift, and I’m still pretending to have read it cover to cover. I got bored around Page 4, and so I Googled what the four agreements are, and I just try to be impeccable with my word, I try not to assume, I try to not take anything personally, and I’m sure there’s a fourth agreement I pretended to make, but I forgot it.…Damn. Maybe I really should’ve read it.…Nah.

Whom would you want to write your life story?

I wouldn’t trust anyone else to write my life story. That’s pretty much why I did it myself. If anyone else had written it, parts of it would surely be fiction. If I ever want my life story to be fiction, I’d like for Zane to write it and turn it into an erotic journey. Somebody has to!

What do you plan to read next?

I have big plans to read just everything. Janet Mock’s latest book, “Surpassing Certainty,” will be released this summer, and I can’t wait to read it. I just got “Lincoln in the Bardo,” by George Saunders, on audiobook, and I’m excited to have a long weekend off to dive into it. The audiobook was recorded by some of my favorite voices from pop culture, like Lena Dunham and Keegan-Michael Key, so I’m double excited for it. I’m also excited for “Bad Dreams and Other Stories,” by Tessa Hadley. I love short stories. What I love about books like Two-Minute Mysteries and “Difficult Women” is that I get so many different stories and realities to live in for the price of one book. Stories are like countries, cities and neighborhoods. There is so much to explore, and I want to cover as much terrain as possible.