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| Version 3 | Version 4 |
|---|---|
| Five of the Magazine's best | Five of the Magazine's best |
| (about 2 hours later) | |
| The Magazine is five! And we bring you a charivari* of highlights from the past half-decade. Contained within is all manner of goodness. The best quizzes. The most-read features... and it's five of each, in honour of our age. There might even be cake. ... MOST-READ STORIES Undercover with the people who sell houses, from 21 March 20061. 10 stories that could be April Fools... but aren't | The Magazine is five! And we bring you a charivari* of highlights from the past half-decade. Contained within is all manner of goodness. The best quizzes. The most-read features... and it's five of each, in honour of our age. There might even be cake. ... MOST-READ STORIES Undercover with the people who sell houses, from 21 March 20061. 10 stories that could be April Fools... but aren't |
| 2. The Irwin video: Would you watch it? | 2. The Irwin video: Would you watch it? |
| 3. 50 office-speak phrases you love to hate | 3. 50 office-speak phrases you love to hate |
| 4. Why I want you to look me in the face | 4. Why I want you to look me in the face |
| 5. The secret agent (right) | 5. The secret agent (right) |
| ... FIRST WEEK'S LEAD STORIES 1. Why is it 'OK' to nick software? | ... FIRST WEEK'S LEAD STORIES 1. Why is it 'OK' to nick software? |
| 2. Why have we read so little about Korea? | 2. Why have we read so little about Korea? |
| 3. A flap in the cream tea county | 3. A flap in the cream tea county |
| 4. 'This place is just not ready for different people' | 4. 'This place is just not ready for different people' |
| 5. Camilla's inherited role as royal mistress | 5. Camilla's inherited role as royal mistress |
| ... BEST READER RESPONSES Plus your public information films, 3 March 2006 | ... BEST READER RESPONSES Plus your public information films, 3 March 2006 |
| 1. In pictures: Crazy cycle lanes | 1. In pictures: Crazy cycle lanes |
| 2. Your 20 favourite obscure Neighbours characters | 2. Your 20 favourite obscure Neighbours characters |
| 3. Your ideas to cool the Tube (and win £100k) | 3. Your ideas to cool the Tube (and win £100k) |
| 4. Your history of Britain - 1950s | 4. Your history of Britain - 1950s |
| 5. Molehusband rides again PLUS your public information films (right) | 5. Molehusband rides again PLUS your public information films (right) |
| ⦠FUNNIEST CAPTION COMP ENTRIES | ⦠FUNNIEST CAPTION COMP ENTRIES |
| 1. "NOW it's extinct, yes." Sarah, Trieste, Italy | 1. "NOW it's extinct, yes." Sarah, Trieste, Italy |
| 2. BUSH: "Note to self: Have suit dry-cleaned." CHIRAC: "Note to self: Wash hand immediately" Peter Queck, Chicago | 2. BUSH: "Note to self: Have suit dry-cleaned." CHIRAC: "Note to self: Wash hand immediately" Peter Queck, Chicago |
| 3. "The dangers of internet dating No 3." Lee Pike | 3. "The dangers of internet dating No 3." Lee Pike |
| 4. "God I'm an idiot" Mat Jasper, England | 4. "God I'm an idiot" Mat Jasper, England |
| 5. BECKS: "Sprachen sie Deutsch?" COLE: "No, I'm just resting my hand." Andy Fisher, Coventry ... NAMES WHICH ARE... From 15 July 2005 | 5. BECKS: "Sprachen sie Deutsch?" COLE: "No, I'm just resting my hand." Andy Fisher, Coventry ... NAMES WHICH ARE... From 15 July 2005 |
| 1. Hard to pronounce | 1. Hard to pronounce |
| 2. Old-fashioned | 2. Old-fashioned |
| 3. After a town or city | 3. After a town or city |
| 4. A child called Ikea: Myth or reality? | 4. A child called Ikea: Myth or reality? |
| 5. The same as Lisa Stansfield's (right) | 5. The same as Lisa Stansfield's (right) |
| ... MOST INSTRUCTIVE WHO WHAT WHYS | ... MOST INSTRUCTIVE WHO WHAT WHYS |
| 1. How can papers afford to give away DVDs? | 1. How can papers afford to give away DVDs? |
| 2. What is a kosher chicken? | 2. What is a kosher chicken? |
| 3. How to repair a valuable violin? | 3. How to repair a valuable violin? |
| 4. Does the Frank Spencer music have Morse code? | 4. Does the Frank Spencer music have Morse code? |
| 5. Who was Gerald Wiley? | 5. Who was Gerald Wiley? |
| ... WAYS WITH WORDS From 12 April 2006 | ... WAYS WITH WORDS From 12 April 2006 |
| 1. Twenty-one spellings of 'Gadaffi' | 1. Twenty-one spellings of 'Gadaffi' |
| 2. The meaning of 'lite' | 2. The meaning of 'lite' |
| 3. Twenty of your unusual words - l'esprit d'escalier, esposas for wife and handcuffs... | 3. Twenty of your unusual words - l'esprit d'escalier, esposas for wife and handcuffs... |
| 4. Does 'misspeak' mean lying? | 4. Does 'misspeak' mean lying? |
| 5. The s-word (right) | 5. The s-word (right) |
| ... HARDEST QUIZZES | ... HARDEST QUIZZES |
| 1. CV spelling | 1. CV spelling |
| 2. Football chants | 2. Football chants |
| 3. Can you pass a citizenship test? | 3. Can you pass a citizenship test? |
| 4. The truth about Latin | 4. The truth about Latin |
| 5. English: How smart are you? | 5. English: How smart are you? |
| ... HEARTFELT R.I.P.s | ... HEARTFELT R.I.P.s |
| From 4 May 2007 | From 4 May 2007 |
| 1. Flake Girl | 1. Flake Girl |
| 2. Civil Service Ties | 2. Civil Service Ties |
| 3. Kent's Cricket Ground Tree | 3. Kent's Cricket Ground Tree |
| 4. Gold iPod Mini | 4. Gold iPod Mini |
| 5. Sudan's Married - and Most E-Mailed - Goat (right) | 5. Sudan's Married - and Most E-Mailed - Goat (right) |
| ... PITHY AD BREAKDOWNS | ... PITHY AD BREAKDOWNS |
| 1. The Economist | 1. The Economist |
| 2. PC v Mac | 2. PC v Mac |
| 3. McDonald's? Or a trendy wine bar? | 3. McDonald's? Or a trendy wine bar? |
| 4. That's me singin' in the rain | 4. That's me singin' in the rain |
| 5. Memorably rare sausages | 5. Memorably rare sausages |
| ... POIGNANT STORIES Smoking in the rain, from 1 July 2007 | ... POIGNANT STORIES Smoking in the rain, from 1 July 2007 |
| 2003: Letters home from Guantanamo Bay | 2003: Letters home from Guantanamo Bay |
| 2004: ASBOWATCH The war against hats... | 2004: ASBOWATCH The war against hats... |
| 2005: The world on a train | 2005: The world on a train |
| 2006: Who are you calling fat? | 2006: Who are you calling fat? |
| 2007: The Outsiders (right) | 2007: The Outsiders (right) |
| ... BEST READERS' COLUMNS Shoe fanatic, from 14 August 2006 | ... BEST READERS' COLUMNS Shoe fanatic, from 14 August 2006 |
| 1. Too heavy to adopt? | 1. Too heavy to adopt? |
| 2. How Airfix gave me my wings | 2. How Airfix gave me my wings |
| 3. I have no recollection of having two legs | 3. I have no recollection of having two legs |
| 4. When teenage partygoers turn bad5. Why I own 80 pairs of shoes (right) | 4. When teenage partygoers turn bad5. Why I own 80 pairs of shoes (right) |
| ... INVENTIVE LBQ ANSWERS | ... INVENTIVE LBQ ANSWERS |
| 1. Hipster invasion | 1. Hipster invasion |
| 2. Uniformly cleaner | 2. Uniformly cleaner |
| 3. Marmalade Revolution | 3. Marmalade Revolution |
| 4. The most disappointing swap in history | 4. The most disappointing swap in history |
| 5. A month-long hiatus | 5. A month-long hiatus |
| (From the LBQ roll of shame) | (From the LBQ roll of shame) |
| ... YOUR UNITS OF MEASURE | ... YOUR UNITS OF MEASURE |
| "As self appointed guardian of Monitor Weights and Measures, it has come to my attention that the Routemaster bus will shortly be retired from service. We are therefore left with a void in our collection of measures for both height and length. Any suggestions for replacement objects would be most welcome."Ray Lashley, Bristol, UK | "As self appointed guardian of Monitor Weights and Measures, it has come to my attention that the Routemaster bus will shortly be retired from service. We are therefore left with a void in our collection of measures for both height and length. Any suggestions for replacement objects would be most welcome."Ray Lashley, Bristol, UK |
| "The simple matter of converting units of Routemasters into units of elephants (metaphorically of course) has been further complicated by meddling academics in Cardiff. The new subspecies of Bornean elephant now requires a conversion factor of x1.5 to be applied to align it with Indian elephants and x2.1 to align it with African elephants. For information, two and a half African elephants equate to approximately one Routemaster."Chris, London | "The simple matter of converting units of Routemasters into units of elephants (metaphorically of course) has been further complicated by meddling academics in Cardiff. The new subspecies of Bornean elephant now requires a conversion factor of x1.5 to be applied to align it with Indian elephants and x2.1 to align it with African elephants. For information, two and a half African elephants equate to approximately one Routemaster."Chris, London |
| "Is there an indeterminate unit of time between a 'jiffy' and a 'while'? I'll put forward an answer in just a mo."Alan Cotter, Bracknell | "Is there an indeterminate unit of time between a 'jiffy' and a 'while'? I'll put forward an answer in just a mo."Alan Cotter, Bracknell |
| "In search of new measures, can I suggest the Hairdresser's Inch? This equates to two-and-a-quarter normal inches."S Atkinson | "In search of new measures, can I suggest the Hairdresser's Inch? This equates to two-and-a-quarter normal inches."S Atkinson |
| "Perhaps we could now measure length in terms of Tory leadership contests. However, this unit would only be suitable for seemingly interminable objects whose ends are known well before they are finally reached." Gus, London, UK | "Perhaps we could now measure length in terms of Tory leadership contests. However, this unit would only be suitable for seemingly interminable objects whose ends are known well before they are finally reached." Gus, London, UK |
| FINALLY, FIVE THINGS WE JUST LIKE Who to blame, from 27 January 2005 | FINALLY, FIVE THINGS WE JUST LIKE Who to blame, from 27 January 2005 |
| 1. Counting on the Caterpillar | 1. Counting on the Caterpillar |
| 2. All you need is ubuntu | 2. All you need is ubuntu |
| 3. Helvetica at 50 | 3. Helvetica at 50 |
| 4. 10 uses for an unwanted England flag | 4. 10 uses for an unwanted England flag |
| 5. 'The Crazy Frog sound? That's my fault' (right) | 5. 'The Crazy Frog sound? That's my fault' (right) |
| *charivari, n. first used in the Magazine Monitor 31 October, 2005, to denote a noisy serenade. | *charivari, n. first used in the Magazine Monitor 31 October, 2005, to denote a noisy serenade. |
| Add your comments on this story, using the form below, or catch up with what happened at the Magazine's live lunchtime letters party by clicking here. | |
| Happy Birthday! The trip down memory lane was only spoilt by a badly sited cycle-path. Kieran Boyle, Oxford, England | |
| Where are the limericks?Norma Seal, Buffalo, New York, US | |
| Should I be worried that I seem to remember every single one of these from the first time round?Helen, London, England | |
| Thank you for reminding me of my glory days. I was prompted to take my LBQ keyring from its locked display cabinet and dust it lovingly. Mike, Newcastle upon Tyne | |
| I can't help thinking the Magazine has had a lot of makeovers and plastic surgery for a five-year-old. Thanks for the memories, sorry I missed your party.HannaH, UK | |