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Five of the… Five of the Magazine's best
(31 minutes later)
The Magazine is five! And we bring you a charivari* of highlights from the past half-decade. Contained within is all manner of goodness. The best quizzes. The most-read features... and it's five of each, in honour of our age. There might even be cake. ... MOST-READ STORIES Undercover with the people who sell houses, from 21 March 20061. 10 stories that could be April Fools... but aren'tThe Magazine is five! And we bring you a charivari* of highlights from the past half-decade. Contained within is all manner of goodness. The best quizzes. The most-read features... and it's five of each, in honour of our age. There might even be cake. ... MOST-READ STORIES Undercover with the people who sell houses, from 21 March 20061. 10 stories that could be April Fools... but aren't
2. The Irwin video: Would you watch it?2. The Irwin video: Would you watch it?
3. 50 office-speak phrases you love to hate3. 50 office-speak phrases you love to hate
4. Why I want you to look me in the face4. Why I want you to look me in the face
5. The secret agent (right)5. The secret agent (right)
... FIRST WEEK'S LEAD STORIES 1. Why is it 'OK' to nick software?... FIRST WEEK'S LEAD STORIES 1. Why is it 'OK' to nick software?
2. Why have we read so little about Korea?2. Why have we read so little about Korea?
3. A flap in the cream tea county3. A flap in the cream tea county
4. 'This place is just not ready for different people'4. 'This place is just not ready for different people'
5. Camilla's inherited role as royal mistress5. Camilla's inherited role as royal mistress
... BEST READER RESPONSES Plus your public information films, 3 March 2006... BEST READER RESPONSES Plus your public information films, 3 March 2006
1. In pictures: Crazy cycle lanes1. In pictures: Crazy cycle lanes
2. Your 20 favourite obscure Neighbours characters2. Your 20 favourite obscure Neighbours characters
3. Your ideas to cool the Tube (and win £100k)3. Your ideas to cool the Tube (and win £100k)
4. Your history of Britain - 1950s4. Your history of Britain - 1950s
5. Molehusband rides again PLUS your public information films (right)5. Molehusband rides again PLUS your public information films (right)
… FUNNIEST CAPTION COMP ENTRIES… FUNNIEST CAPTION COMP ENTRIES
1. "NOW it's extinct, yes." Sarah, Trieste, Italy1. "NOW it's extinct, yes." Sarah, Trieste, Italy
2. BUSH: "Note to self: Have suit dry-cleaned." CHIRAC: "Note to self: Wash hand immediately" Peter Queck, Chicago2. BUSH: "Note to self: Have suit dry-cleaned." CHIRAC: "Note to self: Wash hand immediately" Peter Queck, Chicago
3. "The dangers of internet dating No 3." Lee Pike3. "The dangers of internet dating No 3." Lee Pike
4. "God I'm an idiot" Mat Jasper, England4. "God I'm an idiot" Mat Jasper, England
5. BECKS: "Sprachen sie Deutsch?" COLE: "No, I'm just resting my hand." Andy Fisher, Coventry ... NAMES WHICH ARE... From 15 July 20055. BECKS: "Sprachen sie Deutsch?" COLE: "No, I'm just resting my hand." Andy Fisher, Coventry ... NAMES WHICH ARE... From 15 July 2005
1. Hard to pronounce1. Hard to pronounce
2. Old-fashioned2. Old-fashioned
3. After a town or city3. After a town or city
4. A child called Ikea: Myth or reality?4. A child called Ikea: Myth or reality?
5. The same as Lisa Stansfield's (right) 5. The same as Lisa Stansfield's (right)
... MOST INSTRUCTIVE WHO WHAT WHYS... MOST INSTRUCTIVE WHO WHAT WHYS
1. How can papers afford to give away DVDs?1. How can papers afford to give away DVDs?
2. What is a kosher chicken?2. What is a kosher chicken?
3. How to repair a valuable violin?3. How to repair a valuable violin?
4. Does the Frank Spencer music have Morse code?4. Does the Frank Spencer music have Morse code?
5. Who was Gerald Wiley?5. Who was Gerald Wiley?
... WAYS WITH WORDS From 12 April 2006... WAYS WITH WORDS From 12 April 2006
1. Twenty-one spellings of 'Gadaffi'1. Twenty-one spellings of 'Gadaffi'
2. The meaning of 'lite'2. The meaning of 'lite'
3. Twenty of your unusual words - l'esprit d'escalier, esposas for wife and handcuffs...3. Twenty of your unusual words - l'esprit d'escalier, esposas for wife and handcuffs...
4. Does 'misspeak' mean lying?4. Does 'misspeak' mean lying?
5. The s-word (right) ... HARDEST QUIZZES5. The s-word (right) ... HARDEST QUIZZES
1. CV spelling1. CV spelling
2. Football chants2. Football chants
3. Can you pass a citizenship test?3. Can you pass a citizenship test?
4. The truth about Latin4. The truth about Latin
5. English: How smart are you?5. English: How smart are you?
... HEARTFELT R.I.P.s... HEARTFELT R.I.P.s
From 4 May 2007From 4 May 2007
1. Flake Girl1. Flake Girl
2. Civil Service Ties2. Civil Service Ties
3. Kent's Cricket Ground Tree3. Kent's Cricket Ground Tree
4. Gold iPod Mini4. Gold iPod Mini
5. Sudan's Married - and Most e-mailed - Goat (right) 5. Sudan's Married - and Most e-mailed - Goat (right)
... PITHY AD BREAKDOWNS... PITHY AD BREAKDOWNS
1. The Economist1. The Economist
2. PC v Mac2. PC v Mac
3. McDonald's? Or a trendy wine bar?3. McDonald's? Or a trendy wine bar?
4. That's me singin' in the rain4. That's me singin' in the rain
5. Memorably rare sausages5. Memorably rare sausages
... POIGNANT STORIES Smoking in the rain, from 1 July 2007... POIGNANT STORIES Smoking in the rain, from 1 July 2007
2003: Letters home from Guantanamo Bay2003: Letters home from Guantanamo Bay
2004: ASBOWATCH The war against hats...2004: ASBOWATCH The war against hats...
2005: The world on a train2005: The world on a train
2006: Who are you calling fat?2006: Who are you calling fat?
2007: The Outsiders (right) 2007: The Outsiders (right)
... BEST READERS' COLUMNS Shoe fanatic, from 14 August 2006... BEST READERS' COLUMNS Shoe fanatic, from 14 August 2006
1. Too heavy to adopt?1. Too heavy to adopt?
2. How Airfix gave me my wings2. How Airfix gave me my wings
3. I have no recollection of having two legs3. I have no recollection of having two legs
4. When teenage partygoers turn bad5. Why I own 80 pairs of shoes (right) 4. When teenage partygoers turn bad5. Why I own 80 pairs of shoes (right)
... INVENTIVE LBQ ANSWERS... INVENTIVE LBQ ANSWERS
1. Hipster invasion1. Hipster invasion
2. Uniformly cleaner2. Uniformly cleaner
3. Marmalade Revolution3. Marmalade Revolution
4. The most disappointing swap in history4. The most disappointing swap in history
5. A month-long hiatus5. A month-long hiatus
(From the LBQ roll of shame)(From the LBQ roll of shame)
... YOUR UNITS OF MEASURE... YOUR UNITS OF MEASURE
"As self appointed guardian of Monitor Weights and Measures, it has come to my attention that the Routemaster bus will shortly be retired from service. We are therefore left with a void in our collection of measures for both height and length. Any suggestions for replacement objects would be most welcome."Ray Lashley, Bristol, UK"As self appointed guardian of Monitor Weights and Measures, it has come to my attention that the Routemaster bus will shortly be retired from service. We are therefore left with a void in our collection of measures for both height and length. Any suggestions for replacement objects would be most welcome."Ray Lashley, Bristol, UK
"The simple matter of converting units of Routemasters into units of elephants (metaphorically of course) has been further complicated by meddling academics in Cardiff. The new subspecies of Bornean elephant now requires a conversion factor of x1.5 to be applied to align it with Indian elephants and x2.1 to align it with African elephants. For information, two and a half African elephants equate to approximately one Routemaster."Chris, London"The simple matter of converting units of Routemasters into units of elephants (metaphorically of course) has been further complicated by meddling academics in Cardiff. The new subspecies of Bornean elephant now requires a conversion factor of x1.5 to be applied to align it with Indian elephants and x2.1 to align it with African elephants. For information, two and a half African elephants equate to approximately one Routemaster."Chris, London
"Is there an indeterminate unit of time between a 'jiffy' and a 'while'? I'll put forward an answer in just a mo."Alan Cotter, Bracknell"Is there an indeterminate unit of time between a 'jiffy' and a 'while'? I'll put forward an answer in just a mo."Alan Cotter, Bracknell
"In search of new measures, can I suggest the Hairdresser's Inch? This equates to two-and-a-quarter normal inches."S Atkinson"In search of new measures, can I suggest the Hairdresser's Inch? This equates to two-and-a-quarter normal inches."S Atkinson
"Perhaps we could now measure length in terms of Tory leadership contests. However, this unit would only be suitable for seemingly interminable objects whose ends are known well before they are finally reached." Gus, London, UK"Perhaps we could now measure length in terms of Tory leadership contests. However, this unit would only be suitable for seemingly interminable objects whose ends are known well before they are finally reached." Gus, London, UK
FINALLY, FIVE THINGS WE JUST LIKE Who to blame, from 27 January 2005FINALLY, FIVE THINGS WE JUST LIKE Who to blame, from 27 January 2005
1. Counting on the Caterpillar1. Counting on the Caterpillar
2. All you need is ubuntu2. All you need is ubuntu
3. Helvetica at 503. Helvetica at 50
4. 10 uses for an unwanted England flag4. 10 uses for an unwanted England flag
5. 'The Crazy Frog sound? That's my fault' (right)5. 'The Crazy Frog sound? That's my fault' (right)
*charivari, n. first used in the Magazine Monitor 31 October, 2005, to denote a noisy serenade. *charivari,n. first used in the Magazine Monitor 31 October, 2005, to denote a noisy serenade.
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