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It’s Legal for 14-Year-Olds to Marry. Should It Be? | |
(about 7 hours later) | |
ALBANY — For nearly 90 years, an uncelebrated New York State law has largely escaped attention, allowing what would seem to be unfathomable in this day and age, and particularly in this state: child marriages, by the thousands. | ALBANY — For nearly 90 years, an uncelebrated New York State law has largely escaped attention, allowing what would seem to be unfathomable in this day and age, and particularly in this state: child marriages, by the thousands. |
Since 1929, New York has allowed children as young as 14 to marry; 14- and 15-year-olds can do so with judicial and parental approval, and 16- and 17-year-olds can marry with mere parental consent. | Since 1929, New York has allowed children as young as 14 to marry; 14- and 15-year-olds can do so with judicial and parental approval, and 16- and 17-year-olds can marry with mere parental consent. |
New York is hardly alone: Most states allow 16- and 17-year-olds to marry, and more than two dozen other states have no statutory minimum age at all. | New York is hardly alone: Most states allow 16- and 17-year-olds to marry, and more than two dozen other states have no statutory minimum age at all. |
“I don’t think people even knew this,” Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo said recently of New York’s marriage age requirement. “I think they are going to be shocked when they hear about the status of the law.” | “I don’t think people even knew this,” Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo said recently of New York’s marriage age requirement. “I think they are going to be shocked when they hear about the status of the law.” |
Marriages involving minors occur in New York far more than most would think: Between 2000 and 2010, nearly 3,900 minors were wed in the state, mostly in marriages arranged by parents whose religious or cultural traditions embrace the practice. | Marriages involving minors occur in New York far more than most would think: Between 2000 and 2010, nearly 3,900 minors were wed in the state, mostly in marriages arranged by parents whose religious or cultural traditions embrace the practice. |
State lawmakers and Governor Cuomo are now trying to put an end to so-called child marriages, and have introduced similar bills to end marriage altogether for 14-, 15- and 16-year-olds, joining a number of states from New Jersey to Missouri that are working to change similar laws. | State lawmakers and Governor Cuomo are now trying to put an end to so-called child marriages, and have introduced similar bills to end marriage altogether for 14-, 15- and 16-year-olds, joining a number of states from New Jersey to Missouri that are working to change similar laws. |
It would seem like a no-brainer of an effort, and yet, last year, when similar legislation was introduced in Albany, there was resistance from some lawmakers who represent certain religious communities. | It would seem like a no-brainer of an effort, and yet, last year, when similar legislation was introduced in Albany, there was resistance from some lawmakers who represent certain religious communities. |
Assemblyman Dov Hikind, whose district in Brooklyn includes the mostly Hasidic neighborhood of Borough Park, said that he had not focused on the issue, but believed that the bill should allow 16-year-olds to marry. | Assemblyman Dov Hikind, whose district in Brooklyn includes the mostly Hasidic neighborhood of Borough Park, said that he had not focused on the issue, but believed that the bill should allow 16-year-olds to marry. |
“Not once in my 35 years in office — in a community where people are encouraged to get married at a young age — did someone say this is an issue, this was a problem, this was wrong,” he said. | “Not once in my 35 years in office — in a community where people are encouraged to get married at a young age — did someone say this is an issue, this was a problem, this was wrong,” he said. |
Last year, the bill ultimately stalled in the Assembly’s Judiciary Committee. The chairwoman of the committee, Helene E. Weinstein, did not specifically respond to a question about opposition to the bill, but acknowledged that the committee had “heard from many interested parties.” | Last year, the bill ultimately stalled in the Assembly’s Judiciary Committee. The chairwoman of the committee, Helene E. Weinstein, did not specifically respond to a question about opposition to the bill, but acknowledged that the committee had “heard from many interested parties.” |
“We shall continue to carefully consider this issue in this legislative session, hoping to ultimately be able to reach a sensible policy resolution going forward,” she added. | “We shall continue to carefully consider this issue in this legislative session, hoping to ultimately be able to reach a sensible policy resolution going forward,” she added. |
Experts on family law say that early marriage carries all sorts of social, educational and financial costs. Girls are typically wed to older men, some of them seeking green cards in the United States. The young women are far more likely than those who delay marriage to stop their educations, suffer economically and become victims of domestic violence. | Experts on family law say that early marriage carries all sorts of social, educational and financial costs. Girls are typically wed to older men, some of them seeking green cards in the United States. The young women are far more likely than those who delay marriage to stop their educations, suffer economically and become victims of domestic violence. |
Early marriage poses other difficulties. A girl can marry at 14, for instance, but cannot legally divorce until 18. (The bill in Albany would change that.) Shelters for victims of domestic violence generally do not accept anyone under 18. | Early marriage poses other difficulties. A girl can marry at 14, for instance, but cannot legally divorce until 18. (The bill in Albany would change that.) Shelters for victims of domestic violence generally do not accept anyone under 18. |
“There have been cases where a girl is pregnant and the pregnancy happened as a result of sexual assault,” said Sonia Ossorio, president of the National Organization for Women New York, a group that has lobbied for the change in law. “But her parents are forcing her to marry because being an out-of-wedlock teen mother is a worse social standing than suffering a sexual assault in silence.” | “There have been cases where a girl is pregnant and the pregnancy happened as a result of sexual assault,” said Sonia Ossorio, president of the National Organization for Women New York, a group that has lobbied for the change in law. “But her parents are forcing her to marry because being an out-of-wedlock teen mother is a worse social standing than suffering a sexual assault in silence.” |
Of the nearly 3,900 child marriages in New York State, 40 involved someone 14 or 15 years old, according to Unchained at Last, a group that helps women escape forced marriages. | Of the nearly 3,900 child marriages in New York State, 40 involved someone 14 or 15 years old, according to Unchained at Last, a group that helps women escape forced marriages. |
Fatima H., an office manager in northern New Jersey, was 15 and thriving in school in Brooklyn in the 1980s when her strict Muslim parents forced her to drop out and arranged a marriage to a first cousin arriving from Kuwait. He was 21 and they had never met. A judge approved the early nuptials and, perhaps not surprisingly, the couple did not live happily ever after. | Fatima H., an office manager in northern New Jersey, was 15 and thriving in school in Brooklyn in the 1980s when her strict Muslim parents forced her to drop out and arranged a marriage to a first cousin arriving from Kuwait. He was 21 and they had never met. A judge approved the early nuptials and, perhaps not surprisingly, the couple did not live happily ever after. |
In a phone interview, Fatima, who spoke on condition that she be identified only by her first name and last initial, said that her father forced her into the marriage. | In a phone interview, Fatima, who spoke on condition that she be identified only by her first name and last initial, said that her father forced her into the marriage. |
“My dad said, ‘He’s your cousin, he’s going to take care of you, it’s great for the family,’” she recalled. “He said: ‘Your uncle wants it. They are going to treat you well, you’ll have money, you will live like a queen.’ And I was like, ‘I don’t want this to happen, I don’t want to do it.’” | “My dad said, ‘He’s your cousin, he’s going to take care of you, it’s great for the family,’” she recalled. “He said: ‘Your uncle wants it. They are going to treat you well, you’ll have money, you will live like a queen.’ And I was like, ‘I don’t want this to happen, I don’t want to do it.’” |
Divorce rates are much higher for people who marry at a young age. Nearly 70 percent of marriages involving those under the age of 18 end in divorce, according to Vivian E. Hamilton, a professor at William and Mary Law School who specializes in family law. For adolescents who marry at 16 or younger, which is permitted in nearly 40 states, almost 80 percent of their marriages will end in divorce, she said. | Divorce rates are much higher for people who marry at a young age. Nearly 70 percent of marriages involving those under the age of 18 end in divorce, according to Vivian E. Hamilton, a professor at William and Mary Law School who specializes in family law. For adolescents who marry at 16 or younger, which is permitted in nearly 40 states, almost 80 percent of their marriages will end in divorce, she said. |
“Raising the marriage age to 18 is as close to low-hanging legislative fruit as you can get,” Ms. Hamilton said. “I think the best policy would be to set the marriage age at 21.” | “Raising the marriage age to 18 is as close to low-hanging legislative fruit as you can get,” Ms. Hamilton said. “I think the best policy would be to set the marriage age at 21.” |
Assemblywoman Amy Paulin, a Democrat, who introduced similar legislation last year, has, along with Senator Andrew J. Lanza, a Republican, introduced a new bill to raise the marriage age. The bill passed the Senate on Tuesday and was sent to the Assembly. | Assemblywoman Amy Paulin, a Democrat, who introduced similar legislation last year, has, along with Senator Andrew J. Lanza, a Republican, introduced a new bill to raise the marriage age. The bill passed the Senate on Tuesday and was sent to the Assembly. |
“With the governor’s support and his urging, I see a path to getting this done this year,” Ms. Paulin said. “And we’re in a stronger position than we were before.” | “With the governor’s support and his urging, I see a path to getting this done this year,” Ms. Paulin said. “And we’re in a stronger position than we were before.” |
The pending legislation would raise the minimum age for marriage to 18, although 17-year-olds could still marry with judicial and parental consent. Judges would be given guidance on determining whether a prospective bride or groom is entering a marriage freely, without coercion from parents. | The pending legislation would raise the minimum age for marriage to 18, although 17-year-olds could still marry with judicial and parental consent. Judges would be given guidance on determining whether a prospective bride or groom is entering a marriage freely, without coercion from parents. |
“The reason we feel comfortable with the 17-year-old exception is there will be clarity that doesn’t exist now to ensure that all of the concerns have been addressed,” said Alphonso David, Mr. Cuomo’s counsel. “If a judge is confident that there is no coercion or duress, then the harm is eliminated.” | “The reason we feel comfortable with the 17-year-old exception is there will be clarity that doesn’t exist now to ensure that all of the concerns have been addressed,” said Alphonso David, Mr. Cuomo’s counsel. “If a judge is confident that there is no coercion or duress, then the harm is eliminated.” |
But some advocates believe there is no way for a judge to tell whether a teenager is being pressured by family members. | But some advocates believe there is no way for a judge to tell whether a teenager is being pressured by family members. |
“The judicial review process is evil because it puts the onus on a 17-year-old girl to find a way out of this situation,” said Fraidy Reiss, founder and executive director of Unchained at Last. “If she tells the judge she does not want to marry, her parents will know she said that. We have seen parents retaliate in many ways — locking a girl in her room or taking her overseas and forcing her to marry there.” | “The judicial review process is evil because it puts the onus on a 17-year-old girl to find a way out of this situation,” said Fraidy Reiss, founder and executive director of Unchained at Last. “If she tells the judge she does not want to marry, her parents will know she said that. We have seen parents retaliate in many ways — locking a girl in her room or taking her overseas and forcing her to marry there.” |
Fatima H., now 45, remembers lying to the judge as she claimed to want to marry her cousin. “I was sweating and nervous,” she recalled. “My mother was hitting me on my knee.” If she had said no, she said, her father would have beat her. “They would have kept me locked up in the house forever.” | Fatima H., now 45, remembers lying to the judge as she claimed to want to marry her cousin. “I was sweating and nervous,” she recalled. “My mother was hitting me on my knee.” If she had said no, she said, her father would have beat her. “They would have kept me locked up in the house forever.” |
She wound up marrying the man and was miserable for the next four years, she said, retreating into herself and refusing to have sexual relations with him. Finally, her grandmother threatened to disown her father and uncle if they did not let Fatima annul the marriage. They obliged, but her parents immediately arranged another marriage for her at age 19. | She wound up marrying the man and was miserable for the next four years, she said, retreating into herself and refusing to have sexual relations with him. Finally, her grandmother threatened to disown her father and uncle if they did not let Fatima annul the marriage. They obliged, but her parents immediately arranged another marriage for her at age 19. |
Fatima was married for 18 years to her second husband, bearing four children. She is now happily divorced, however, and single. She has no plans to arrange marriages for any of her children. | Fatima was married for 18 years to her second husband, bearing four children. She is now happily divorced, however, and single. She has no plans to arrange marriages for any of her children. |
“Because this happened to me, I didn’t live out my youth,” she said. “I was forced to grow up too fast. I didn’t do what teenagers did. I didn’t get to go to school. I was a straight-A student. It was a dream of mine to become a doctor. I never forgave my father for that.” | “Because this happened to me, I didn’t live out my youth,” she said. “I was forced to grow up too fast. I didn’t do what teenagers did. I didn’t get to go to school. I was a straight-A student. It was a dream of mine to become a doctor. I never forgave my father for that.” |
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