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Dogs aren’t just man’s best friend – they’re man’s least honest friend Dogs aren’t just man’s best friend – they’re man’s least honest friend
(about 4 hours later)
Man’s best friend has been getting some bad press. As the New Scientist reported, “Dogs use deception to get what they want from humans.”Man’s best friend has been getting some bad press. As the New Scientist reported, “Dogs use deception to get what they want from humans.”
The researcher behind this story, Marianne Heberlein of the University of Zurich, had been studying the willingness of dogs to lead humans to food. She found that they were significantly more likely to direct humans who did not have a history of sharing treats with them to a box containing a dull, dry dog biscuit than to one containing a juicy sausage. The opposite was true with those they perceived to be more generous with food.The researcher behind this story, Marianne Heberlein of the University of Zurich, had been studying the willingness of dogs to lead humans to food. She found that they were significantly more likely to direct humans who did not have a history of sharing treats with them to a box containing a dull, dry dog biscuit than to one containing a juicy sausage. The opposite was true with those they perceived to be more generous with food.
Heberlein professed herself amazed not just by the readiness of dogs to trick humans they perceived as a threat to their food supply but the speed at which they learned to do so: while other animals, such as monkeys, could take dozens of repetitions before they worked out the secret of maximum rewards, some dogs got it first time. “They showed an impressive flexibility in behaviour,” she said.Heberlein professed herself amazed not just by the readiness of dogs to trick humans they perceived as a threat to their food supply but the speed at which they learned to do so: while other animals, such as monkeys, could take dozens of repetitions before they worked out the secret of maximum rewards, some dogs got it first time. “They showed an impressive flexibility in behaviour,” she said.
Without wishing to upset Heberlein, the fact that dogs will happily deceive you for a sausage will come as a surprise only if your sole experience of the canine race comes from watching re-runs of Lassie. Indeed, it will have barely registered with owners frantically Googling “Are laundry tablets poisonous to labradors?” while on hold to the vet’s for the third time in a week.Without wishing to upset Heberlein, the fact that dogs will happily deceive you for a sausage will come as a surprise only if your sole experience of the canine race comes from watching re-runs of Lassie. Indeed, it will have barely registered with owners frantically Googling “Are laundry tablets poisonous to labradors?” while on hold to the vet’s for the third time in a week.
“Impressive flexibility” sounds the kind of thing you’d say about a politician’s attitude to their manifesto commitments, and indeed the average dog is only slightly more trustworthy than the average Tory chancellor.“Impressive flexibility” sounds the kind of thing you’d say about a politician’s attitude to their manifesto commitments, and indeed the average dog is only slightly more trustworthy than the average Tory chancellor.
Where anyone got the idea that these animals were loyal companions, as incapable of dissemblance as they are of playing the piano, is unclear – though that wee scamp Greyfriars Bobby no doubt played a part. The crowd of tourists around the statue of this stout little Skye terrier on Edinburgh’s George IV bridge always makes me snort, even as I attempt to stop Wilf, my own sturdy Scottie, from mugging them for ice cream. Far from the heartbroken animal that kept watch at his master’s grave for 14 years, evidence suggests that Bobby hung around the churchyard because his fans came there to feed him. Turns out these scruffy mutts aren’t as stupid as they look. Where anyone got the idea that these animals were loyal companions, as incapable of dissemblance as they are of playing the piano, is unclear – though that wee scamp Greyfriars Bobby no doubt played a part. The crowd of tourists around the statue of this stout little Skye terrier on Edinburgh’s George IV bridge always makes me snort, even as I attempt to stop Wilf, my own sturdy cairn terrier, from mugging them for ice cream. Far from the heartbroken animal that kept watch at his master’s grave for 14 years, evidence suggests that Bobby hung around the churchyard because his fans came there to feed him. Turns out these scruffy mutts aren’t as stupid as they look.
In fact, I reckon there’s a strong case to be put for the dog being the greatest confidence trickster in history, having evolved from those canny wolves who realised the advantages of scavenging from human waste as opposed to hunting their own food. The appearance of the average adult dog, with the large eyes, snub nose and floppy ears characteristic of a wolf puppy, is designed to take maximum advantage of our weakness for those physical traits we consider appealing. Few of the millions who watched an arctic wolf snapping at the heels of the caribou on Planet Earth II last year will have been rooting for the poor old hungry canid – “Oh my God, so cute!” – even those with one of the canid’s relatives snoozing at their feet, having enjoyed a hearty dinner they’d done nothing to merit.In fact, I reckon there’s a strong case to be put for the dog being the greatest confidence trickster in history, having evolved from those canny wolves who realised the advantages of scavenging from human waste as opposed to hunting their own food. The appearance of the average adult dog, with the large eyes, snub nose and floppy ears characteristic of a wolf puppy, is designed to take maximum advantage of our weakness for those physical traits we consider appealing. Few of the millions who watched an arctic wolf snapping at the heels of the caribou on Planet Earth II last year will have been rooting for the poor old hungry canid – “Oh my God, so cute!” – even those with one of the canid’s relatives snoozing at their feet, having enjoyed a hearty dinner they’d done nothing to merit.
My own dog is only too happy to manipulate the facts to his advantage: having been fed, and scoured the bowl clean, he’ll wait patiently until someone new enters the room, then drag it towards them, whimpering piteously. He’ll cower theatrically if I tell him off in public – so much so that I can almost see strangers wiping away the tears as they speed-dial the RSPCA – but bark defiantly at a similar ear-bashing at home. And he’s definitely not above pretending he wants to get up on my lap for a cuddle, only to make a move on my lunch.My own dog is only too happy to manipulate the facts to his advantage: having been fed, and scoured the bowl clean, he’ll wait patiently until someone new enters the room, then drag it towards them, whimpering piteously. He’ll cower theatrically if I tell him off in public – so much so that I can almost see strangers wiping away the tears as they speed-dial the RSPCA – but bark defiantly at a similar ear-bashing at home. And he’s definitely not above pretending he wants to get up on my lap for a cuddle, only to make a move on my lunch.
A friend’s dachshund affects a stage limp when it begins to rain (and miraculously recovers at the sight of a tripe sausage), while another claims her childhood dog would create a diversion in another room by knocking something over, then rush in to snaffle unattended birthday cakes. A third admits her dogs have learned to feign doing a poo in order to get a treat (yes, some dogs have even managed to persuade their owners they deserve to be rewarded for performing basic bodily functions). It’s a torrent of mendacity.A friend’s dachshund affects a stage limp when it begins to rain (and miraculously recovers at the sight of a tripe sausage), while another claims her childhood dog would create a diversion in another room by knocking something over, then rush in to snaffle unattended birthday cakes. A third admits her dogs have learned to feign doing a poo in order to get a treat (yes, some dogs have even managed to persuade their owners they deserve to be rewarded for performing basic bodily functions). It’s a torrent of mendacity.
Paradoxically, every owner I speak to seems almost proud of their dog’s greedy cunning. When Wilf mugs strangers for a bit of their bacon sandwich, they often respond with something like “Well, at least he’s a character” – and despite my profuse and genuine apologies for the state of their trousers, I have to agree. It seems dogs have pulled off the ultimate scam: the naughtier they are, the more we love them.Paradoxically, every owner I speak to seems almost proud of their dog’s greedy cunning. When Wilf mugs strangers for a bit of their bacon sandwich, they often respond with something like “Well, at least he’s a character” – and despite my profuse and genuine apologies for the state of their trousers, I have to agree. It seems dogs have pulled off the ultimate scam: the naughtier they are, the more we love them.