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| Sean Spicer’s Briefings, Cringe TV for an Audience of One | Sean Spicer’s Briefings, Cringe TV for an Audience of One |
| (about 3 hours later) | |
| As long as you don’t care too much about facts, you can learn a lot from a Sean Spicer daily briefing. | As long as you don’t care too much about facts, you can learn a lot from a Sean Spicer daily briefing. |
| The White House press secretary has said that whatever your lying eyes told you, President Trump’s swearing-in had “the largest audience to witness an inauguration, period.” He has insisted that the president’s travel ban against majority-Muslim countries, which the president called a “ban,” was not a ban. He has claimed, falsely, that former President Obama tapped a Fox News reporter’s phones. | The White House press secretary has said that whatever your lying eyes told you, President Trump’s swearing-in had “the largest audience to witness an inauguration, period.” He has insisted that the president’s travel ban against majority-Muslim countries, which the president called a “ban,” was not a ban. He has claimed, falsely, that former President Obama tapped a Fox News reporter’s phones. |
| But Mr. Spicer’s performance — strident, defensive, stressed-out — carries a wealth of information: about Mr. Trump’s image obsession, about what the president expects of his underlings, about the impossibility of contorting one’s self into a human bridge between reality and Mr. Trump’s agitated mindspace. | But Mr. Spicer’s performance — strident, defensive, stressed-out — carries a wealth of information: about Mr. Trump’s image obsession, about what the president expects of his underlings, about the impossibility of contorting one’s self into a human bridge between reality and Mr. Trump’s agitated mindspace. |
| The real story, every briefing, is what Mr. Spicer can’t say and how he doesn’t say it. | The real story, every briefing, is what Mr. Spicer can’t say and how he doesn’t say it. |
| Press secretaries have always jousted and spun for the boss. But Mr. Spicer’s attempts to jam the square pegs of Mr. Trump’s fancies into the round holes of fact — plus his defining mockery by Melissa McCarthy and “Saturday Night Live” — have made for must-watch cringe TV. | Press secretaries have always jousted and spun for the boss. But Mr. Spicer’s attempts to jam the square pegs of Mr. Trump’s fancies into the round holes of fact — plus his defining mockery by Melissa McCarthy and “Saturday Night Live” — have made for must-watch cringe TV. |
| Sometimes he lectures. (“This is silly. OK, next. You’ve asked your question.”) Sometimes he stammers. Often he brings props, like the stacks of papers he used Tuesday to argue that the Affordable Care Act was more intrusive than the Republicans’ repeal proposal. (“Look at the size!”) | Sometimes he lectures. (“This is silly. OK, next. You’ve asked your question.”) Sometimes he stammers. Often he brings props, like the stacks of papers he used Tuesday to argue that the Affordable Care Act was more intrusive than the Republicans’ repeal proposal. (“Look at the size!”) |
| Some days, his briefings have drawn over four million viewers. But he’s tap-dancing for one viewer in particular: the fuming, demanding cable-news addict in the Oval Office, who has very specific opinions on what message he wants given to the media and how hard to give it to them. | Some days, his briefings have drawn over four million viewers. But he’s tap-dancing for one viewer in particular: the fuming, demanding cable-news addict in the Oval Office, who has very specific opinions on what message he wants given to the media and how hard to give it to them. |
| During the briefings, it helps to imagine Mr. Spicer being watched by a cruel, flaming eye just off camera. Mr. Trump has reportedly criticized Mr. Spicer’s suits, his speaking style, his insufficient fire in the belly. | During the briefings, it helps to imagine Mr. Spicer being watched by a cruel, flaming eye just off camera. Mr. Trump has reportedly criticized Mr. Spicer’s suits, his speaking style, his insufficient fire in the belly. |
| Mr. Spicer doesn’t just have a boss; he has a minder. In the middle of one briefing, David Corn of Mother Jones tweeted, “he was passed long notes: big letters written w/ red Sharpie. Journos speculate they’re from a watching Trump.” | Mr. Spicer doesn’t just have a boss; he has a minder. In the middle of one briefing, David Corn of Mother Jones tweeted, “he was passed long notes: big letters written w/ red Sharpie. Journos speculate they’re from a watching Trump.” |
| This past week was a special cleanup challenge. Over the weekend, Mr. Trump had tweeted that Mr. Obama had tapped his phones at Trump Tower, which was unsubstantiated. He tweeted that Mr. Obama had released “122 vicious prisoners” from Guantánamo Bay, which was false. This came on top of questions over Russian interference in the election and resistance to the health care bill. | This past week was a special cleanup challenge. Over the weekend, Mr. Trump had tweeted that Mr. Obama had tapped his phones at Trump Tower, which was unsubstantiated. He tweeted that Mr. Obama had released “122 vicious prisoners” from Guantánamo Bay, which was false. This came on top of questions over Russian interference in the election and resistance to the health care bill. |
| Mr. Spicer had to defend all this while staying inside the usual invisible parameters. Mr. Trump is never wrong. Mr. Trump is never sorry. And isn’t the real scandal here that you feel the need to ask these questions? | Mr. Spicer had to defend all this while staying inside the usual invisible parameters. Mr. Trump is never wrong. Mr. Trump is never sorry. And isn’t the real scandal here that you feel the need to ask these questions? |
| When Mr. Spicer was asked Wednesday if Mr. Trump’s wiretap claim implied that there was a counterintelligence examination of the president, he said, “I think that’s what we need to find out.” He was passed a note, and later he rephrased: “There is no reason to believe he is the target of an investigation.” The Eye never sleeps! | When Mr. Spicer was asked Wednesday if Mr. Trump’s wiretap claim implied that there was a counterintelligence examination of the president, he said, “I think that’s what we need to find out.” He was passed a note, and later he rephrased: “There is no reason to believe he is the target of an investigation.” The Eye never sleeps! |
| On Friday, Mr. Spicer tried to deflect the administration’s credibility issues with a joke. Asked about the morning’s positive jobs report, he said that Mr. Trump had told him, “They may have been phony in the past, but it’s very real now.” (This was two days after Mr. Spicer, dead seriously, discredited in advance the expected scoring of the new health bill by the Congressional Budget Office. Maybe he’ll have a zinger ready for that one, too.) | |
| Mr. Spicer is hemmed in on another side by Ms. McCarthy’s instant-classic imitation of him on “Saturday Night Live.” | Mr. Spicer is hemmed in on another side by Ms. McCarthy’s instant-classic imitation of him on “Saturday Night Live.” |
| Ms. McCarthy’s impression is savage, but in a way, it’s charitable. She plays Mr. Spicer as a lusty bully, unhinged but at least in control. In her conception, he’s a bellicose, towel-snapping gym teacher. | Ms. McCarthy’s impression is savage, but in a way, it’s charitable. She plays Mr. Spicer as a lusty bully, unhinged but at least in control. In her conception, he’s a bellicose, towel-snapping gym teacher. |
| The actual Mr. Spicer lately seems like a tense vice principal, snipping at students in the hallway while dreading his return to the faculty lounge. He has the dead-eyed look of a man sent out to take a daily beating with the expectation of a second one afterward for how poorly he took the first. | The actual Mr. Spicer lately seems like a tense vice principal, snipping at students in the hallway while dreading his return to the faculty lounge. He has the dead-eyed look of a man sent out to take a daily beating with the expectation of a second one afterward for how poorly he took the first. |
| “S.N.L.” has undermined him with both his audience of one and his audience of four million. Mr. Trump, according to Politico, thinks it seems “weak” for a man to be played by a woman. Meanwhile, it’s hard for a home viewer to see him and not see Ms. McCarthy’s seething cannonball. | “S.N.L.” has undermined him with both his audience of one and his audience of four million. Mr. Trump, according to Politico, thinks it seems “weak” for a man to be played by a woman. Meanwhile, it’s hard for a home viewer to see him and not see Ms. McCarthy’s seething cannonball. |
| This seems to have left Mr. Spicer unsure how to play his character. Sometimes he has gone to war, as when he barred several news outlets (including The New York Times) from a briefing. Other times, he has softened, opening with ice-breaking one-liners. “I can sense the love in the room,” he told reporters on Valentine’s Day. | This seems to have left Mr. Spicer unsure how to play his character. Sometimes he has gone to war, as when he barred several news outlets (including The New York Times) from a briefing. Other times, he has softened, opening with ice-breaking one-liners. “I can sense the love in the room,” he told reporters on Valentine’s Day. |
| It may be the first time in history that a male public figure got the message via a woman: “Would it kill you to smile a little more, Honey?” | It may be the first time in history that a male public figure got the message via a woman: “Would it kill you to smile a little more, Honey?” |
| That does not seem to be the preference of Mr. Trump, who values fierce loyalty and loves competition among his staff the way he loves TV. | That does not seem to be the preference of Mr. Trump, who values fierce loyalty and loves competition among his staff the way he loves TV. |
| In February, after the Trump adviser Stephen Miller gave a round of interviews so imperious they could have been Skyped from the bridge of the Death Star, Mr. Trump tweeted his praise. | In February, after the Trump adviser Stephen Miller gave a round of interviews so imperious they could have been Skyped from the bridge of the Death Star, Mr. Trump tweeted his praise. |
| Message: more like this, please. | Message: more like this, please. |
| Mr. Trump’s presidency is often compared to reality TV. But it’s Mr. Spicer who most seems as if he were competing on “The Apprentice.” In front of a live audience, he goes out to sell reporters something they have a hard time buying, then gets judged in the boardroom. | Mr. Trump’s presidency is often compared to reality TV. But it’s Mr. Spicer who most seems as if he were competing on “The Apprentice.” In front of a live audience, he goes out to sell reporters something they have a hard time buying, then gets judged in the boardroom. |
| First prize is he gets to go out the next day and do it again. | First prize is he gets to go out the next day and do it again. |