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#DearSister: Muslim women fed up of being lectured | |
(about 1 hour later) | |
It was an email like many she had had before: a lecture from a stranger explaining why her views - in his eyes - were wrong, all delivered hiding behind the phrase "dear sister, I say these things with greatest certitude of your Islam". | It was an email like many she had had before: a lecture from a stranger explaining why her views - in his eyes - were wrong, all delivered hiding behind the phrase "dear sister, I say these things with greatest certitude of your Islam". |
But this time, Egyptian-American journalist Mona Eltahawy was not going to ignore it. This time, she took to Twitter to express her frustration. | |
"Save your lectures, whether you're a total stranger or someone I know. 'Sister Mona' is not interested," she wrote, before asking others to share their story using the hashtag "Dear Sister". | "Save your lectures, whether you're a total stranger or someone I know. 'Sister Mona' is not interested," she wrote, before asking others to share their story using the hashtag "Dear Sister". |
Within hours, it had inspired thousands of tweets, with women from Australia to Pakistan, South Africa to Canada sharing their experience of being lectured to by men. | Within hours, it had inspired thousands of tweets, with women from Australia to Pakistan, South Africa to Canada sharing their experience of being lectured to by men. |
"To be honest, when I first tweeted it out, I did it almost as a joke," Ms Eltahawy told the BBC. The email - for no particular reason - had been the last straw. | "To be honest, when I first tweeted it out, I did it almost as a joke," Ms Eltahawy told the BBC. The email - for no particular reason - had been the last straw. |
But her flippant rant sparked a flame. Women flooded the social media site, revealing they too were fed up of being told how to dress and behave - much of the time by men who apply a double standard when it comes to their own lives. | But her flippant rant sparked a flame. Women flooded the social media site, revealing they too were fed up of being told how to dress and behave - much of the time by men who apply a double standard when it comes to their own lives. |
Indeed, since her initial tweet on Sunday, the hashtag has been used more than 18,000 times, with many women sharing their own frustrations. | Indeed, since her initial tweet on Sunday, the hashtag has been used more than 18,000 times, with many women sharing their own frustrations. |
"I think what happened was other women looked and thought, it is not just me." | "I think what happened was other women looked and thought, it is not just me." |
But as "awful" as many of the stories were, there was much to find strength in, said Ms Eltahawy, author of Headscarves and Hymens: Why the Middle East Needs a Sexual Revolution. | But as "awful" as many of the stories were, there was much to find strength in, said Ms Eltahawy, author of Headscarves and Hymens: Why the Middle East Needs a Sexual Revolution. |
"I love the ferocity and energy," she said over the phone from New York. "It was not saying boo hoo [I am a victim], it was exposing the men." | "I love the ferocity and energy," she said over the phone from New York. "It was not saying boo hoo [I am a victim], it was exposing the men." |
Not that the men the tweets were talking about took it well. A common demand was to "stop talking about this stuff, you are making us look bad". | Not that the men the tweets were talking about took it well. A common demand was to "stop talking about this stuff, you are making us look bad". |
"My answer - and the answer of so many other Muslim women - was: we do not make you look bad. You make you look bad." | "My answer - and the answer of so many other Muslim women - was: we do not make you look bad. You make you look bad." |
Of course, as Ms Eltahawy and many other women were keen to point out, their complaints did not include all Muslim men. | Of course, as Ms Eltahawy and many other women were keen to point out, their complaints did not include all Muslim men. |
As one social media user noted, the #DearSister comments are "a reflection of culture, not Islam". | As one social media user noted, the #DearSister comments are "a reflection of culture, not Islam". |
That did not stop the non-Muslim men who saw the tweets as "proof" of their Islamaphobic views telling the women to turn their back on their religion. | That did not stop the non-Muslim men who saw the tweets as "proof" of their Islamaphobic views telling the women to turn their back on their religion. |
These women need neither thing, Ms Eltahawy says. "There is the internal right-wing, and the external right wing - and I reject entirely their messages." | These women need neither thing, Ms Eltahawy says. "There is the internal right-wing, and the external right wing - and I reject entirely their messages." |
But then there are the women who took issue with #DearSister - women Ms Eltahawy says have become the "patriarchy's foot soldiers", willing to accept the "crumbs" left behind by men. | But then there are the women who took issue with #DearSister - women Ms Eltahawy says have become the "patriarchy's foot soldiers", willing to accept the "crumbs" left behind by men. |
"I don't want the crumbs - I want the cake," Ms Eltahawy said. | "I don't want the crumbs - I want the cake," Ms Eltahawy said. |
So, it seems, do many women on Twitter. | So, it seems, do many women on Twitter. |
Ms Eltahawy hopes #DearSister could inspire more women to come forward and share their lives. | Ms Eltahawy hopes #DearSister could inspire more women to come forward and share their lives. |
She dreams of holding readings, plays or putting together a book, collating their experiences. | She dreams of holding readings, plays or putting together a book, collating their experiences. |
"For me the most important thing it that #DearSister is a platform for Muslim women and girls - somewhere they get the space to speak, and everyone must listen." | "For me the most important thing it that #DearSister is a platform for Muslim women and girls - somewhere they get the space to speak, and everyone must listen." |
Even if the book or readings do not come to fruition, you get the feeling she would be happy anyway. | Even if the book or readings do not come to fruition, you get the feeling she would be happy anyway. |
"Muslim women all over the world are seeing each other," Ms Eltahawy says, clearly delighted. | "Muslim women all over the world are seeing each other," Ms Eltahawy says, clearly delighted. |
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