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David White says he was ‘petrified to spill the beans’ over football sexual abuse David White says he was ‘petrified to spill the beans’ over football sexual abuse
(about 11 hours later)
David White, the one-time England international, has talked about football operating in a “climate of fear, secrecy and ignorance” during the years when he was sexually abused and confessed that he dreads to think how many other boys suffered alone because of the “culture of shame and silence”.David White, the one-time England international, has talked about football operating in a “climate of fear, secrecy and ignorance” during the years when he was sexually abused and confessed that he dreads to think how many other boys suffered alone because of the “culture of shame and silence”.
White, best remembered for his playing days at Manchester City from 1985–93, is urging other victims to come forward after opening up about his own ordeal in a new book, Shades of Blue, where he reveals the harrowing events that left him a “completely different boy, with my confidence shattered, my trust betrayed and my innocence stolen”.White, best remembered for his playing days at Manchester City from 1985–93, is urging other victims to come forward after opening up about his own ordeal in a new book, Shades of Blue, where he reveals the harrowing events that left him a “completely different boy, with my confidence shattered, my trust betrayed and my innocence stolen”.
Now 49, White lived with what he calls a “dark secret” until Andy Woodward’s interview to the Guardian in November encouraged him to speak publicly about the events that shaped his life.Now 49, White lived with what he calls a “dark secret” until Andy Woodward’s interview to the Guardian in November encouraged him to speak publicly about the events that shaped his life.
He now describes that process of speaking out as a “liberating and enlightening experience” and paints a grim picture about how many other victims there might be who have never felt able to come forward. “I was never aware of any organisations that empowered and encouraged children to blow the whistle,” White says. “I shudder to think how many other kids like me were left alone and afraid, persecuted by their abusers and petrified to spill the beans.”He now describes that process of speaking out as a “liberating and enlightening experience” and paints a grim picture about how many other victims there might be who have never felt able to come forward. “I was never aware of any organisations that empowered and encouraged children to blow the whistle,” White says. “I shudder to think how many other kids like me were left alone and afraid, persecuted by their abusers and petrified to spill the beans.”
The last figures released by the police show 526 potential victims have come forward nationwide, with 184 suspects identified, since Woodward, the former Crewe Alexandra, Bury and Sheffield United player, instigated what the Football Association chairman, Greg Clarke, has described as the biggest scandal he can remember in the sport.The last figures released by the police show 526 potential victims have come forward nationwide, with 184 suspects identified, since Woodward, the former Crewe Alexandra, Bury and Sheffield United player, instigated what the Football Association chairman, Greg Clarke, has described as the biggest scandal he can remember in the sport.
“My advice to anyone who has experienced abuse of any kind, in any walk of life, is simple: please talk,” White writes. “I urge you not to suffer alone. Reaching out to someone – especially for the first time – may be upsetting but it will ultimately make things better; that I can almost guarantee. Disclosing my abuse enabled me to unshackle myself from my secrets, the shame and stigma. Having the confidence to lay my feelings bare proved that I still possessed an inner strength and fortitude that I thought I’d lost forever.”“My advice to anyone who has experienced abuse of any kind, in any walk of life, is simple: please talk,” White writes. “I urge you not to suffer alone. Reaching out to someone – especially for the first time – may be upsetting but it will ultimately make things better; that I can almost guarantee. Disclosing my abuse enabled me to unshackle myself from my secrets, the shame and stigma. Having the confidence to lay my feelings bare proved that I still possessed an inner strength and fortitude that I thought I’d lost forever.”
White, whose career also featured spells at Leeds United and Sheffield United, goes on to explains why he found it impossible to come forward during his playing days, saying he had to protect his family from the immeasurable hurt it would have caused, and describing himself as “petrified at the prospect of my dark secret being revealed. I was terrified that if I blew the whistle the tabloids would get hold of the story and splash it across their front pages, perhaps to the detriment of my precious, hard-earned career. White, whose career also featured spells at Leeds United and Sheffield United, goes on to explain why he found it impossible to come forward during his playing days, saying he had to protect his family from the immeasurable hurt it would have caused, and describing himself as “petrified at the prospect of my dark secret being revealed. I was terrified that if I blew the whistle the tabloids would get hold of the story and splash it across their front pages, perhaps to the detriment of my precious, hard-earned career.
“I was frightened that fans, managers and team-mates might react in a negative way – with disgust, even – because paedophilia still remained hugely taboo, both in football circles and within society in general.”“I was frightened that fans, managers and team-mates might react in a negative way – with disgust, even – because paedophilia still remained hugely taboo, both in football circles and within society in general.”
White became a hugely popular figure at City but his career was blighted by inconsistent form and, almost four decades on, he is convinced that his childhood abuse was one of the driving reasons why he won only one international cap.White became a hugely popular figure at City but his career was blighted by inconsistent form and, almost four decades on, he is convinced that his childhood abuse was one of the driving reasons why he won only one international cap.
“The mental fragility lingered throughout my childhood and adulthood and, on many occasions, was unwittingly transferred on to the football pitch. My game hinged so much upon self-belief and, with hindsight, I’m convinced that much of my notoriously patchy, see-saw form was linked to latent feelings of fear and surrender. Whenever I faced pressure or adversity – the prospect of defeat, perhaps, or some jeering from the crowd – I’d often find myself caving in.“The mental fragility lingered throughout my childhood and adulthood and, on many occasions, was unwittingly transferred on to the football pitch. My game hinged so much upon self-belief and, with hindsight, I’m convinced that much of my notoriously patchy, see-saw form was linked to latent feelings of fear and surrender. Whenever I faced pressure or adversity – the prospect of defeat, perhaps, or some jeering from the crowd – I’d often find myself caving in.
“When I was on peak form – flying down the wing, firing over crosses and scoring at will – I was pretty much unstoppable. Conversely, there would be days when the weight of the world seemed to rest heavy on my shoulders and when that lingering sense of insecurity would rise to the surface.“When I was on peak form – flying down the wing, firing over crosses and scoring at will – I was pretty much unstoppable. Conversely, there would be days when the weight of the world seemed to rest heavy on my shoulders and when that lingering sense of insecurity would rise to the surface.
“What I desperately needed at that time was professional help to address my confidence and inconsistency issues. In the 1980s and 1990s, however, football clubs had neither the staff nor the know-how to identify and support a player suffering with emotional issues.“What I desperately needed at that time was professional help to address my confidence and inconsistency issues. In the 1980s and 1990s, however, football clubs had neither the staff nor the know-how to identify and support a player suffering with emotional issues.
“In the 1980s and 1990s the football world - and society in general - was not yet sophisticated or mature enough to adequately tackle the issues of child sexual abuse and, as a result, I had to bottle things up and cope alone.” “In the 1980s and 1990s the football world – and society in general – was not yet sophisticated or mature enough to adequately tackle the issues of child sexual abuse and, as a result, I had to bottle things up and cope alone.”