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| With May nowhere to be seen, Boris plays a bad hand badly on Trump | With May nowhere to be seen, Boris plays a bad hand badly on Trump |
| (35 minutes later) | |
| The Woman Without Qualities was nowhere to be seen. Having taken the best part of a day to work out whether she was allowed to condemn President Trump’s immigration ban and then shifting the blame to the Foreign Office for The Donald’s state visit invitation, Theresa May had wisely decamped to Ireland for the afternoon. So it was left to Boris Johnson to take the hit in the Commons as MPs from both parties voiced their disquiet about the presidential order. Some louder than others. | The Woman Without Qualities was nowhere to be seen. Having taken the best part of a day to work out whether she was allowed to condemn President Trump’s immigration ban and then shifting the blame to the Foreign Office for The Donald’s state visit invitation, Theresa May had wisely decamped to Ireland for the afternoon. So it was left to Boris Johnson to take the hit in the Commons as MPs from both parties voiced their disquiet about the presidential order. Some louder than others. |
| The foreign secretary began by distancing himself from US policy before telling everyone that everything was basically going to be OK because he had managed to blag an exemption for UK dual nationals. That was the advantage of a special relationship. “The prime minister made a highly successful visit to the White House last week,” he said, “and where we have differences with the US we will not quail from voicing them.” We just wouldn’t be doing it very loudly. Call it typical British reserve. | The foreign secretary began by distancing himself from US policy before telling everyone that everything was basically going to be OK because he had managed to blag an exemption for UK dual nationals. That was the advantage of a special relationship. “The prime minister made a highly successful visit to the White House last week,” he said, “and where we have differences with the US we will not quail from voicing them.” We just wouldn’t be doing it very loudly. Call it typical British reserve. |
| This statement didn’t exactly satisfy Emily Thornberry, the shadow foreign secretary, who wanted to know why it had taken so long for the prime minister to comment on the ban and whether The Donald had told her about it while she was having her hand held in the US. Boris wisely ignored the last question as the prime minister would come out looking feeble either way and chose to emphasise the positive. | This statement didn’t exactly satisfy Emily Thornberry, the shadow foreign secretary, who wanted to know why it had taken so long for the prime minister to comment on the ban and whether The Donald had told her about it while she was having her hand held in the US. Boris wisely ignored the last question as the prime minister would come out looking feeble either way and chose to emphasise the positive. |
| “There is nothing to be gained from pointlessly demonising the Trump administration,” he said. Especially when we are desperate for any kind of trade deal. And besides, he added, the government had been energetic in its condemnation of the ban. That was as energetic as in flatlining. For a moment, it looked as though Boris might be getting his own back on Theresa by mocking her feebleness with sarcasm, but as time went on it became clear that he was just playing a bad hand badly. When push came to shove, the arch-bluffer really wasn’t that bothered. | “There is nothing to be gained from pointlessly demonising the Trump administration,” he said. Especially when we are desperate for any kind of trade deal. And besides, he added, the government had been energetic in its condemnation of the ban. That was as energetic as in flatlining. For a moment, it looked as though Boris might be getting his own back on Theresa by mocking her feebleness with sarcasm, but as time went on it became clear that he was just playing a bad hand badly. When push came to shove, the arch-bluffer really wasn’t that bothered. |
| As Labour MP after Labour MP – along with a fair few Tories – queried the government’s lack of moral compass in failing to stand up to the US, Boris eventually got bored. He had said whatever it was he had said – he couldn’t remember exactly what – about the US ban being wrong and he couldn’t be bothered to carry on doing so. “You can all use a thesaurus to exhaust the wells of outrage,” he said, pausing for a laugh that didn’t come. “But what I will not do is disengage with the USA to risk our relationship.” A relationship so special that it did not allow criticism. Boris had no idea how needy he made Britain sound. | |
| It wasn’t long before comparisons were made with the 1930s. All that was needed for evil to prevail was for good men to say nothing. That didn’t bother Boris as no one had ever described him as a good man. “Theresa the Appeaser,” said Labour’s Mike Gapes. Oh, come on, said Boris, banning immigration from seven predominantly Muslim countries might be a wee bit racist but it wasn’t as bad as all that. Besides, if everyone behaved themselves they might be allowed in after 90 days. There again, they might not. Comparisons to Hitler were just silly. Said the man who is well known for comparing the EU to Hitler. | It wasn’t long before comparisons were made with the 1930s. All that was needed for evil to prevail was for good men to say nothing. That didn’t bother Boris as no one had ever described him as a good man. “Theresa the Appeaser,” said Labour’s Mike Gapes. Oh, come on, said Boris, banning immigration from seven predominantly Muslim countries might be a wee bit racist but it wasn’t as bad as all that. Besides, if everyone behaved themselves they might be allowed in after 90 days. There again, they might not. Comparisons to Hitler were just silly. Said the man who is well known for comparing the EU to Hitler. |
| All this talk of the second world war woke up the Tory Eurosceptics who still haven’t forgiven Barack Obama for his intervention in the EU referendum. “This is absolutely nothing to do with us,” said Gerald Howarth, Philip Davies, Andrew Bridgen and David Nuttall. “US foreign policy is the sovereign preserve of the US.” Pontius Pilate passed round a bowl of water for each of them to wash their hands. All hail, President Trump! And why didn’t our own government have the cojones to show the same sort of initiative? | All this talk of the second world war woke up the Tory Eurosceptics who still haven’t forgiven Barack Obama for his intervention in the EU referendum. “This is absolutely nothing to do with us,” said Gerald Howarth, Philip Davies, Andrew Bridgen and David Nuttall. “US foreign policy is the sovereign preserve of the US.” Pontius Pilate passed round a bowl of water for each of them to wash their hands. All hail, President Trump! And why didn’t our own government have the cojones to show the same sort of initiative? |
| Boris took heart. Where was the harm in being an apologist for the Trumpster. We’d promised Trump a state visit and it would be jolly rude to disinvite him. The chlorinated coronation chicken was being prepared as he spoke. “We’ve had Nicolae Ceaușescu and Robert Mugabe over here on state visits,” said Boris. So Trump would fit in just fine. |