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While Brangelina split, Nick Clegg and the Lib Dems is back on While Brangelina split, Nick Clegg and the Lib Dems is back on
(35 minutes later)
MondayMonday
Nick Clegg is rarely seen in Westminster these days and has the air of a man who would like to resign his Sheffield Hallam seat if only he didn’t think the Lib Dems might lose the subsequent by-election. But if the country is not yet quite ready to forgive him for being hopelessly outmanoeuvred by the Conservatives during the coalition, the Lib Dems themselves are. At their annual conference in Brighton, Cleggmania was back. The queue for his book-signing snaked out of the exhibition hall, with many people clutching two or three copies in their hand and the local Waterstones had completely sold out of his “non mea culpa”, Politics: Between the Extremes. Those who couldn’t get their hands on his book were snapping up Nick Clegg fridge magnets, letter openers and key rings. Long before the end of the conference, these too were all sold out; though there was still plenty of Tim Farron merchandise on offer. Nor is the Clegg revival limited to Brighton. His book was also selling well at the Cheltenham Literature festival and is now number 4 on the Sunday Times bestseller list. You now know what you will be getting for Christmas from the Lib Dem in your life. Nick Clegg is rarely seen in Westminster these days and has the air of a man who would like to resign his Sheffield Hallam seat if only he didn’t think the Lib Dems might lose the subsequent byelection. But if the country is not yet quite ready to forgive him for being hopelessly outmanoeuvred by the Conservatives during the coalition, the Lib Dems themselves are. At their annual conference in Brighton, Cleggmania was back. The queue for his book-signing snaked out of the exhibition hall, with many people clutching two or three copies in their hand, and the local Waterstones had completely sold out of his “non mea culpa”, Politics: Between the Extremes. Those who couldn’t get their hands on his book were snapping up Nick Clegg fridge magnets, letter openers and key rings. Long before the end of the conference, these too were all sold out; though there was still plenty of Tim Farron merchandise on offer. Nor is the Clegg revival limited to Brighton. His book was also selling well at the Cheltenham literature festival and is now number 4 on the Sunday Times bestseller list. You now know what you will be getting for Christmas from the Lib Dem in your life.
TuesdayTuesday
Keith Vaz arrived late to Labour’s “Super Tuesday” NEC meeting and received a round of applause from most of the 32 other representatives on the party’s ruling body. The former chair of the home affairs select committee looked tired, but party officials said they were glad he turned up. “If you are a miserable party worker, waiting to get sacked by one of Jeremy’s Trotty friends, Keith was a reminder that some people really do have it worse,” said one. Though the eight-hour meeting failed to resolve the main issue of how to choose the shadow cabinet, it did help to clear the air on one other matter. A bit. Prior to the discussions there had been a lot of talk about Labour’s general secretary, Iain McNicol, being removed for supposedly being too moderate and being replaced by Jennie Formby, Unite’s south-east regional secretary. Formby used the meeting to say she had heard the rumours but wasn’t interested in the job. The future of McNicol remains in the balance. Though Jeremy Corbyn told him his job was safe, members of the Labour leader’s team were briefing they expected him to step down voluntarily. Keith Vaz arrived late to Labour’s “Super Tuesday” NEC meeting and received a round of applause from most of the 32 other representatives on the party’s ruling body. The former chair of the home affairs select committee looked tired, but party officials said they were glad he turned up. “If you are a miserable party worker, waiting to get sacked by one of Jeremy’s Trotty friends, Keith was a reminder that some people really do have it worse,” said one. Though the eight-hour meeting failed to resolve the main issue of how to choose the shadow cabinet, it did help to clear the air on one other matter. A bit. Prior to the discussions there had been a lot of talk about Labour’s general secretary, Iain McNicol, being removed for supposedly being too moderate and being replaced by Jennie Formby, Unite’s south-east regional secretary. Formby used the meeting to say she had heard the rumours but wasn’t interested in the job. The future of McNicol hangs in the balance. Though Jeremy Corbyn told him his job was safe, members of the Labour leader’s team were briefing they expected him to step down voluntarily.
WednesdayWednesday
I was a couple of hours late to Douglas Carswell’s latest Twitter row as the Ukip MP has blocked me from following him on the grounds that I don’t take his pronouncements quite as seriously as he does. Fresh from the disappointment at only being given five minutes to speak at his party’s annual conference the week before – there was more time allocated for toilet breaks – Dougie took issue with a comment made by Prof Paul Nightingale, a senior research scientist at Sussex University, comparing Britain’s trade deals with Ireland and China to gravity. “Jupiter is big, but the moon moves tides,” said Nightingale. Quick as a flash, Carswell rushed to correct him. “Actually it’s the gravitational pull of the sun. The moon’s gravity does Spring/neap tides,” he replied. Nightingale tried to be polite by pointing out “Sorry Douglas, you’ve been misinformed. Tides caused by moon not the sun (27m x bigger). Distance matters,” but Dougie was not to be denied. “Surprised head of science research at a university refutes idea sun’s gravity causes tides,” he snapped. To which Nightingale steered him in the direction of Newton’s Principia. Dougie headed instead to the Flat Earth Society.I was a couple of hours late to Douglas Carswell’s latest Twitter row as the Ukip MP has blocked me from following him on the grounds that I don’t take his pronouncements quite as seriously as he does. Fresh from the disappointment at only being given five minutes to speak at his party’s annual conference the week before – there was more time allocated for toilet breaks – Dougie took issue with a comment made by Prof Paul Nightingale, a senior research scientist at Sussex University, comparing Britain’s trade deals with Ireland and China to gravity. “Jupiter is big, but the moon moves tides,” said Nightingale. Quick as a flash, Carswell rushed to correct him. “Actually it’s the gravitational pull of the sun. The moon’s gravity does Spring/neap tides,” he replied. Nightingale tried to be polite by pointing out “Sorry Douglas, you’ve been misinformed. Tides caused by moon not the sun (27m x bigger). Distance matters,” but Dougie was not to be denied. “Surprised head of science research at a university refutes idea sun’s gravity causes tides,” he snapped. To which Nightingale steered him in the direction of Newton’s Principia. Dougie headed instead to the Flat Earth Society.
ThursdayThursday
Not for the first time, the whole world seems to be asking the wrong question. Rather than endless soul-searching about why Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are splitting up, surely the more interesting question is how they managed to stay together for so long when absolutely no one treats them like normal human beings. My only close-up experience of Angelina was when she came to a House of Lords select committee on sexual violence in war with William Hague. The committee could barely contain its excitement at being in the presence of a true Hollywood A-lister and was torn between listening to her evidence and asking her to sign the eight copies of her DVD, In the Land of Blood and Honey, she had brought along as a gift. Meanwhile, Hague could barely utter a coherent sentence and blushed throughout. “Angelina and I,” he muttered demurely on several occasions, lowering his eyelids in private reverie. Angelina remained unfailingly polite but inscrutably detached throughout.Not for the first time, the whole world seems to be asking the wrong question. Rather than endless soul-searching about why Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are splitting up, surely the more interesting question is how they managed to stay together for so long when absolutely no one treats them like normal human beings. My only close-up experience of Angelina was when she came to a House of Lords select committee on sexual violence in war with William Hague. The committee could barely contain its excitement at being in the presence of a true Hollywood A-lister and was torn between listening to her evidence and asking her to sign the eight copies of her DVD, In the Land of Blood and Honey, she had brought along as a gift. Meanwhile, Hague could barely utter a coherent sentence and blushed throughout. “Angelina and I,” he muttered demurely on several occasions, lowering his eyelids in private reverie. Angelina remained unfailingly polite but inscrutably detached throughout.
FridayFriday
Brexit update. No sooner had Boris Johnson opened his mouth in New York and declared that Britain would definitely trigger Article 50 in January or February next year, than Theresa May had to slap him down yet again by issuing a statement saying no timetable had yet been agreed. She did, though, decline to comment on the foreign secretary’s subsequent comments that the trade negotiations with the EU would be a piece of piss with everything wrapped up well inside the two years allowed. Presumably because they were, even by Boris’s normal standards, too idiotic to elaborate on. The prime minister has now had to tick off the three ministers – Boris, David Davis and Liam Fox – to whom she has entrusted the Brexit negotiations on several occasions each for making up policy on the hoof. Quite apart from the fact that Boris, Davis and Fox find it hard to agree on anything, Boris has also now come under attack from Alan Duncan, one of his junior ministers in the foreign office, who accused him in a BBC documentary of having never wanted to leave the EU and using the referendum to further his career. Anyone might think that Theresa was not that keen on making Brexit happen. Brexit update. No sooner had Boris Johnson opened his mouth in New York and declared that Britain would definitely trigger Article 50 in January or February next year, than Theresa May had to slap him down yet again by issuing a statement saying no timetable had yet been agreed. She did, though, decline to comment on the foreign secretary’s subsequent comments that the trade negotiations with the EU would be a piece of piss with everything wrapped up well inside the two years allowed. Presumably because they were, even by Boris’s normal standards, too idiotic to elaborate on. The prime minister has now had to tick off the three ministers – Boris, David Davis and Liam Fox – to whom she has entrusted the Brexit negotiations on several occasions each for making up policy on the hoof. Quite apart from the fact that Boris, Davis and Fox find it hard to agree on anything, Boris has also now come under attack from Alan Duncan, one of his junior ministers in the Foreign Office, who accused him in a BBC documentary of having never wanted to leave the EU and using the referendum to further his career. Anyone might think that Theresa was not that keen on making Brexit happen.
Digested week, digested: Britannia doesn’t rule the wavesDigested week, digested: Britannia doesn’t rule the waves