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Farewell Friends Reunited – the site that offered time travel and sexual infidelity Farewell Friends Reunited – the site that offered time travel and sexual infidelity
(7 months later)
It’s fundamental to human nature that what once seemed racy and modern eventually becomes quaint and pitiable. It was true of micro-scooters and the Spice Girls, and it’s equally true of the website Friends Reunited, which announced its imminent closure this week.It’s fundamental to human nature that what once seemed racy and modern eventually becomes quaint and pitiable. It was true of micro-scooters and the Spice Girls, and it’s equally true of the website Friends Reunited, which announced its imminent closure this week.
Related: Friends Reunited website to close after 15 years
When the site launched back in 2000, it was among the first coherent attempts at social media. It tapped into our innate curiosity, answering the question “whatever happened to … ?” for everyone who’d ever nurtured secret hopes that the school bully was mown down by a runaway lorry before their 30th, or that the perfect prefect turned to crystal meth and now lived in a mobile home with her seven feral offspring.When the site launched back in 2000, it was among the first coherent attempts at social media. It tapped into our innate curiosity, answering the question “whatever happened to … ?” for everyone who’d ever nurtured secret hopes that the school bully was mown down by a runaway lorry before their 30th, or that the perfect prefect turned to crystal meth and now lived in a mobile home with her seven feral offspring.
Prior to Friends Reunited, these were only ever enjoyable fantasies, unless you were prepared to make the pilgrimage to the 20-year reunion, and spend an evening breathing in the smell of dying gym kit with people you didn’t even like when they were six. So it’s no wonder that despite its appalling site design and strange picture of elderly people in Reactolite sunglasses, the site provided an essential service we never knew we needed.Prior to Friends Reunited, these were only ever enjoyable fantasies, unless you were prepared to make the pilgrimage to the 20-year reunion, and spend an evening breathing in the smell of dying gym kit with people you didn’t even like when they were six. So it’s no wonder that despite its appalling site design and strange picture of elderly people in Reactolite sunglasses, the site provided an essential service we never knew we needed.
I remember the first time I logged on (we still called it that). It was like instant time travel – the primary classmate whose Girls’ World styling head I’d so coveted was on there, working for a building society – “busy mum to two little ones!”, the sensible boy on whom I’d conceived an inexplicable crush at university was still making ponderous science jokes, everyone I’d ever snogged drunkenly at a party, or played catch with, or cried in the toilets over – they were all gathered, like a birthday party full of chain-rattling ghosts.I remember the first time I logged on (we still called it that). It was like instant time travel – the primary classmate whose Girls’ World styling head I’d so coveted was on there, working for a building society – “busy mum to two little ones!”, the sensible boy on whom I’d conceived an inexplicable crush at university was still making ponderous science jokes, everyone I’d ever snogged drunkenly at a party, or played catch with, or cried in the toilets over – they were all gathered, like a birthday party full of chain-rattling ghosts.
The site had overlooked the obvious problem of its built-in obsolescenceThe site had overlooked the obvious problem of its built-in obsolescence
I spent several months cruising through my fading memories, summoning past loves and hates from the ether to speak to me (“I’m now a lathe operator in my dad’s business, life’s pretty normal, haha!”), but once I’d satisfied my curiosity, and made sure that the biggest show-off in year 6 had never actually launched a stellar Hollywood career, I stopped going on there. By default, schoolmates aren’t necessarily people you’d choose to hang out with, you’re simply thrust together, like the characters in Lost, and forced to make the best of it.I spent several months cruising through my fading memories, summoning past loves and hates from the ether to speak to me (“I’m now a lathe operator in my dad’s business, life’s pretty normal, haha!”), but once I’d satisfied my curiosity, and made sure that the biggest show-off in year 6 had never actually launched a stellar Hollywood career, I stopped going on there. By default, schoolmates aren’t necessarily people you’d choose to hang out with, you’re simply thrust together, like the characters in Lost, and forced to make the best of it.
As the site grew in success, it became clear that it was not simply an aide-memoire. It was, in fact, a hotbed of infidelity. Unable simply to enjoy the Proustian scented memory of the Blue Stratos their sixth-form crush used to wear, the maritally dissatisfied went in search of their first loves – and often found them, equally dissatisfied and craving excitement with the person who first gave them a stubble rash.As the site grew in success, it became clear that it was not simply an aide-memoire. It was, in fact, a hotbed of infidelity. Unable simply to enjoy the Proustian scented memory of the Blue Stratos their sixth-form crush used to wear, the maritally dissatisfied went in search of their first loves – and often found them, equally dissatisfied and craving excitement with the person who first gave them a stubble rash.
From being a gentle nostalgic diversion, Friends Reunited became a byword for romantic danger. In 2005, a lawyer warned: “If you value your marriage, do not visit this site,” as divorce rates peaked. It seemed that the allure of someone who knew you when you still wrote band names on your jacket could immediately top trump long-term marriage. But in the end, it wasn’t the glamorous potential to ruin lives that ruined Friends Reunited. It was Facebook.From being a gentle nostalgic diversion, Friends Reunited became a byword for romantic danger. In 2005, a lawyer warned: “If you value your marriage, do not visit this site,” as divorce rates peaked. It seemed that the allure of someone who knew you when you still wrote band names on your jacket could immediately top trump long-term marriage. But in the end, it wasn’t the glamorous potential to ruin lives that ruined Friends Reunited. It was Facebook.
Related: Facebook’s fix for heartbreak doesn’t go far enough | Daisy Buchanan
As soon as the new site’s portals swung open in 2004, despite its lumpen, early incarnation (where you could throw sheep at each other, and every status started with “X is … ”) it was clear that this was the senior prom to Friends Reunited’s infants’ sports day. For a start it was free – though Friends Reunited stopped charging after ITV bought it in 2005, it was too late. If you wanted to find a sexual partner, you no longer had to trawl through your primary school class for someone who’d grown up vaguely attractive; you could simply message the bloke you fancied at work, or stalk the profile of your sister’s hot friend.As soon as the new site’s portals swung open in 2004, despite its lumpen, early incarnation (where you could throw sheep at each other, and every status started with “X is … ”) it was clear that this was the senior prom to Friends Reunited’s infants’ sports day. For a start it was free – though Friends Reunited stopped charging after ITV bought it in 2005, it was too late. If you wanted to find a sexual partner, you no longer had to trawl through your primary school class for someone who’d grown up vaguely attractive; you could simply message the bloke you fancied at work, or stalk the profile of your sister’s hot friend.
As Friends Reunited got more desperate, like teachers organising a fun day with a bowl of weak punch and some foil-strip bunting, the site lent its name to nostalgic CDs and books, and even attempted a TV ad campaign – but by then, the only people left were the oddballs nobody spoke to at school. The site had overlooked the obvious problem of its built-in obsolescence. We might all wonder what happened to our classmates – but once we’ve found out, there’s nowhere left to go. It either becomes a real-life rekindling – in which case, the site becomes redundant. Or it simply answers the question (“living in Yorkshire, selling drill bits”) and we move on. In its heyday, there were 10 million users. I’d bet every one of them knows exactly what happened to their classmates – and now they’re on Facebook, talking to their real friends.As Friends Reunited got more desperate, like teachers organising a fun day with a bowl of weak punch and some foil-strip bunting, the site lent its name to nostalgic CDs and books, and even attempted a TV ad campaign – but by then, the only people left were the oddballs nobody spoke to at school. The site had overlooked the obvious problem of its built-in obsolescence. We might all wonder what happened to our classmates – but once we’ve found out, there’s nowhere left to go. It either becomes a real-life rekindling – in which case, the site becomes redundant. Or it simply answers the question (“living in Yorkshire, selling drill bits”) and we move on. In its heyday, there were 10 million users. I’d bet every one of them knows exactly what happened to their classmates – and now they’re on Facebook, talking to their real friends.